


The Crow Flies Straight

by MissMeggie



Series: Jax/Jenna Series- Jenna 'Verse [4]
Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Rewrite, Disability, Disabled Character, F/M, Gen, Season/Series 04, other names used - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-05
Updated: 2012-07-04
Packaged: 2017-11-09 04:59:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/451566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMeggie/pseuds/MissMeggie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys are out of prison and life is good again for Jax and Jenna or is it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Episode 1: Loose The Chains

**Author's Note:**

> AN: I own nothing but my characters, Jenna and Arizona. For continuity Opie's kids will still be named Trey & Paige. Opie & Jenna's mother is still named Ann. I'm aware their cannon names are different but oh well. Tara is still present in the story there is no Thomas or engagement sorry Tara fans. I wrote my own versions of the appisodes to explain certain things in cannon. Arizona is ten months old by my calculations.
> 
> As always certain things that happen in cannon may or may not happen here. I put my own twist on things.
> 
> Songs used: Daughters Of The Soho Riots By The National, Firework By Katy Perry, I Love You This Big By Scotty Mcreery, If I Needed You By Townes Van Zant, What A Wonderful World By Louis Armstrong. I do not own or have anything to do with them just borrowing. Everything recognizable belongs to Kurt Sutter & FX.
> 
> New Posters and Ficlets are posted to the profile.
> 
> Phew, Don't think I missed anything. Lastly please enjoy and review.

Episode 1: Loose The Chains

Incarceration Day 10:

The first time Jenna sees Jackson's buzzed hair is the visitation room. She can't breathe for a second and she knows that's stupid but he's had something resembling long hair since he was fifteen. That hair was one of the features every other man she's ever dated had. It'd become a thing because of Jax.

"It's just hair baby, it'll grown back." Jax walks toward her smiling rubbing his scalp in a little nervous tick. When he goes blurry he realizes there are tears in her eyes.

"No its not who did that too you? If its no big deal how would you feel if I chopped off all my hair?" His face screws up at that.

"Some Nords cornered me…" the guard shoots them a look they are standing too close to each other. Jax just moves closer.

"Don't cry, Really Jenna its not a big deal." he squats in front of her. She sniffs and shrugs.

"I know I'm being stupid but my inner fifteen year old was attached okay. I liked your hair the way it was. I find Ernest Darby and I'm whipping his ass." she ran her fingers over his scalp experimentally.

He laughed. "Alright then, and don't cut your hair in retaliation please."

-/-/-/-

incarceration Day 26:Jenna's phone rings. "Hi baby is it sad that I think Jax's number when I see the prison pop up."

"Hey Darlin," Jax Chuckles. "Pitiful maybe not sad….I've turned you into one of those women.""You have not!" she sad indignantly."Sure, Ann has lovely things to say about me huh?" He smirked."Don't mind mama she's crazy as fuck anyway she married dad." Jax laughs at that. "How are the mini me's?" "Abel's taking a nap and Arie's dancing on my liver." Jenna hears a tussle what sounds like a whispered threat.

"Jax baby." She hears a choked gasp.

"Jackson! Jackson!" she shouts. Tara and Gemma turn from the stove. She hears Jax breathing and the occasional profanity.

"What's happening Jax? Jackson!" Her voice rises in pitch and volume with fear."Got shanked Jen…I'm on the floor by the phone bay…."

"What? Why? I don't…" "Call the guard station for me the camera's can't see me… Somebody help! " He shouts the last part."I don't know how Jax I don't have the number…""Just stay on the phone with me Jenna.""And listen to you bleed to death?""Tell me what's happening Jennasis!" Gemma demands. "Someone stabbed Jax I don't know how to get him help." "I'll do it.""Keep him talking Jen." Tara tells her gravely.

"You know what I want to do preferably before I die?" Jax says to distract her"You aren't funny Jackson! What do you want to do?""Shower with you." Jenna Snickers "Really that all?""Showering with men is not enjoyable I feel like they stare at my junk.""Well your junk is rather impressive but hey, I'm biased." She joked making Jax laugh. "Ow that kinda hurt like hell.""Sorry baby, your mom she's getting you help ok, Just hang on ok? Please?""Hey my Jenna, I ain't goin' no where so…just- How you doin?""I'm terrified.""I know but you're doing good. Keeping me distracted."

"Did I tell you I keep dreaming about Zona? She has red hair in all of them.""Zona huh?"" I like it, makes her sound tough. Here come the guards get to St. Thomas baby, I love you.""I'm going. I love you too Jax.""I know bye."

-/-/-/-Jax wakes in a hospital gown, literally chained to the bed. He feels what is most decidedly a breeze. looks to his right the guard is reading the paper on his left Jenna's sleeping as is Abel eyes closed mouth open draped over her upper look peaceful, content, like if he were able force change and time to shift he'd be finding them like that on the couch some non sensical thing playing on the wants it. Longs for it. Misses clears his throat. "Baby," Jenna jerks awake with a snort.

Instantly its one of those rare moments when Jax remembers how much the accident changed things hits him as she doesn't rush over to him like in a movie instead she taps the glass of the window. Opie and Gemma appear quick as lightening. It's like something sharp claws at his lungs as he breathes through the takes Abel and knowingly brings him over for Jax to kiss. She leaves with the sleeping child but he knows she'll be picks up Jenna carries over and sets her on the foot of his bed. He stares a hole through the guard wordlessly daring him to say something. He claps a hand on Jax's shoulder while Jenna adjusts her St. Thomas Hospital gift shop shirt over her noticeably larger belly."Glad your still kickin' man. I leave you to our favorite lady." and he leaves ,

Jax spots a bruise on Jenna's elbow. "How'd you get this?" he touches it gingerly.

"Oh I fell baby weight makes transferring kind of topsy turvy. Ope, helps me now." She can feel the guard staring at looks over smirking. "I'm a cripple and he's manacled to the bed. We obviously aren't gonna make a run for it. Think you could give us some privacy?" The guard sighs but leave to stand sentry at the door.

Jax places a hand on her belly. "I'm going to miss it."

Jenna forces a grin. "Maybe not…I mean you're Mom has Lohan working on it, just try and stay out of shit okay?"

"This bothers me. I don't like not being there for you."

"I know but Jax we can't take it back now. So, we just keep going."

Tara comes in then breaking the moment. "Hey doc," Jax greets,

"Hey Tara, impeccable timing as always." Jenna teases.

Tara smiles. "Love your top Jen."

"Abel split his cranberry juice on me."

"Jax you got lucky. Nothing vital was hit.-/-/-/-

Incarceration Day 28:

Jenna found Jax's bag from Ireland shoved into the closet. She nearly lost her lunch over the stench of the clothing. Her hand lands on a bundle of mail. She pulls it out reading the note written in Maureen's scrawl. She doesn't know if she should read these or whether or not she even wants too.

-/-/-/-

Incarceration Day 85:

Jenna has John's letters in her purse and questions burning her tongue. She rolls into and sees her dad at a table. She's fully showing and wearing a flowy purple strapless top.

"Daddy Opie called me the purple people eater." Jenna whines. He smirked.

"Do not laugh old man."

"S'not very nice. You look ravishing my girl. Want some coffee? Decaf? A coke? I'll share he pointed at his breakfast.

"Nah, Jax took every molecule of caffeine from the house before he left to break me. I need to be a good girl for the zygote. Jesus Daddy use a fork."

"I'm a rebel. I'll stick with the knife. Something on you're mind Jenny?"

"When Uncle John died they're sure it was an accident right?" She squints and tilts her head.

He looks at her in that unflinching way that always makes her fidget. He puts the knife in his pocket.

"He was hit by a semi Jennasis…"

"I know that its just I read something of his and-" He smacked the table cutting Jenna off. She jumps anxiously.

"Look at me Jennasis Indigo Winston." She looks him right in the eye. It makes him proud.

"That's enough you leave whatever you think you read alone. It was an accident and that's all you need to know. Do you understand me? I know that you think you know things, and some you do but this you don't."

"Dad I'm just trying to do right by Jax and-"

"You worry about your family my grandchildren, Jax, Opie but some shit isn't yours you got that? Stay out of club business and leave history how you found it dead."

"Okay Daddy. Jesus I'm sorry. Forget I said anything okay?" She shakes her head running a hand through her hair.

"Already forgotten. Eat something besides peanut butter today." She went to roll away. "And Jenny?"

"Yeah."

"I love you."

"I know."

"A lot more than you'll ever know my girl."

"I love you too. Lay off the crown though, its making you edgy and mean."

-/-/-/-

Incarceration Day 110: Thanksgiving

Abel is sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor as Jenna checks the stuffing.

"Mama Hi!"

"Hi Abel."

"Hi Mama!" they've been saying hi to each other for ten minutes. He likes whatever game he thinks they're playing. She finds it tiring.

"Hi son." She closes the oven door and picks him up. He giggles. "Mama!"

"Abel gimme kiss." he twist to kiss her. Its sweet he even puckers up like Gemma taught him.

She struck with sudden sadness. She's done this before spent holiday's with loved ones in prison. She'd spent Opie's first holiday on the inside with Donna.

They'd burned the turkey bought pizza and pumpkin pie and ate it setting in the living room floor watching Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade with the kids. Later, when no one was around she held Donna as she cried.

It's so different when you're the wife and there's no one to hold and god does she want to cry.

Opie wonders in. "Hey sis food smells good." he loops his arms around her shoulders and she just plain unravels, sobbing.

"Jen?" She can't stop crying long enough to say anything. She has held it all in for so long and now that its released its snowballing. "Mom!" Opie says.

"What Ope," She comes in. "I didn't do anything Mom I swear she just started."

"Take the baby Opie."

"N-no fine. I'm fine." She manages to say, crying all the while. Ann squats down hugging her.

"Sucks Ma,"

"I know." Piney comes in "Finally hit huh?"

"Everyone's so fine and happy. I'm fucking pissed off and Gemma plans dinners. Why are they all so fine?"

"I just-he's going to miss everything Abel walking, Christmas, Arie's birth and her surgery, our freaking anniversary and no one even flinches…Gemma just tells you what dish to bring Mama!" She wipes at her tears with backs of her hands.

"I don't ever pretend to understand the way this club or Gemma works but I can tell you this. Here with us you're allowed to be weak, angry, and sad. You aren't alone Jennasis I get it baby. We're going to love you even if you aren't the perfect tough old lady you think you have to be. Okay?"

Abel twists around in her lap. Hooking a chubby arm around her neck he hugs her. His other hand strokes her face. "I'm okay buddy. Its alright. I scared him."

"He's fine." Ann says kissing her forehead.

An hour later Opie watches as his sister smiles and celebrates like nothing is wrong. In an odd way he's proud of her in another it makes him sad.

Gemma asks her to say the blessing and for a moment it looks like she might refuse but just places her hand in his he squeezes reassuringly and bows his head.

"Father we thank you for this day and the people in our lives, bless those who are absent today with peace and some measure of joy. Amen."

"Amen." they all echo. She grins. "Let's eat. You want turkey Abey baby?"

"Urkey!" Abel shouts.

-/-/-/-

Release day.

"Jen you ready?" Opie walked into the Teller home. He watched his sister rolling toward him. "You are wearing pink…plaid." His expression belies disbelief.

"My hair's not drying fast enough, Arie is screaming and I can't get her to stop. Abel's my tiny blonde shadow today. I learned not to send a prospect for Abel's snack food. Mom's late and this ugly thing hides a multitude of fat girl sins so shut up."

"You aren't fat and no I'm not saying that because I'm your brother and am required too now go put on that black and gold tube toppy thing I'll tell mom you wore the pink nightmare she'll never know."

He walked over and picked up Arizona. Situating her so lay down the length of his arm on her belly. Her head supported by the crook of his elbow. He walked around bouncing slightly. Jenna left to redress at the sudden silence she rushed back in clad in her bra and jeans.

"You found the off button praise you."

Opie smiled. "I think she has gas this used to help Trey." Lyla walked in and looked back and forth between the two.

"You are not supposed to be here Miss Lyla! I will get your man to the church or field or wherever the fuck your getting married. Now leave." Jenna hollered.

Opie shrugged. "You know we have no boundaries. Get dressed Sis before I'm scared for life. Oh and that's Jenese for love you." Opie smirked at Lyla.

"You seen one pair a tits seen em' all 'sides I'm wearin' a bra Jesus!" she shouted over her shoulder as she rolled away.

"Follow Da' leader Mama!" Abel said trailing behind.

"You got it down pat, son."

-/-/-/

Opie stood next to his bike looking over at his sister. She wore a black leather tube top covered in gold grommets, rhinestones, and crystals. Dark jeans and boots. Her hair was down in its usual curly mass. Her make up done up cat eye style with wine red lipstick.

"You look really pretty Sis."

She grins at him. "Thanks Ope."

They heard the prison gate buzz and watched the guys file out. Jenna felt the moment Jax found her in the crowd. Looking over at him she smiled wordlessly.

"He's looking at you like a staving man looks at a triple layer chocolate cake." Kozik told her.

"And now I am uncomfortable." Opie added. She couldn't help the chuckle that snuck out of her.

"Sure laugh now Sis, but you've never done time he goes all caveman with one syllable words Jax want sex. Jen hot. I'm making you hide for your own safety." he said before walking over and tossing Jax his cut the guys hoped and hollered celebrating around her.

Opie and Jax conversed a bit before he made it over to her. He reached over unbuckling her seatbelt. She squeaked in surprise when he picked her up making him laugh.

"Hey my Jenna." and he kissed her midst cheers and shouts. When they break apart. "Hey, my Jaxy."

"Its good to see you beautiful."

"Likewise."

Opie whistled at them and held up his phone "Wait…" he wiped away a lipstick smudge on Jenna's lower lip.

"There now smile they did and he snapped the picture.

"Prospect put Mrs. Teller's chair in the van." Clay said as Jax helped her onto the back of his bike.

-/-/-/-They arrive in Charming and there is a veritable cavalcade of cops blocking Main Street."Hello boys, Charming PD is now an offshoot of San Joaquin County Sherriff's Office and I am Sheriff Roosevelt. As a condition of your parole it's a violation to wear any gang related paraphernalia." He says."We're just a motorcycle club not a gang Sheriff." Clay replied. Jenna feels Jax tense fractionally."Either way. I see any of you boys who just got out today wearing your cuts, and I'm throwing you back in.""If you're done showing us how big your dick is Teddy, may we go." Jax popped off."I'll be watching you. Mrs. Teller lovely too see you.""Oh I'm sure." Jenna muttered.

-/-/-/-

They roll into the TM lot. Jax helps her from the bike and into her chair. He kisses her again and Jenna laughs. "I'm not going anywhere Jax. I think Paige has Abe…"

He's barely turned away from Jenna when his mother approaches.

She hugs him. "I love you."

"I love you too Ma."

"She did good. Held her shit together." She nodded over to Jenna who was fixing her helmet hair while talking to Piney. Tara stood next to her playing with Arizona while Piney held her. "They're what you might call friends now don't go screwing it up Jenny doesn't have many friends."

"She always holds up under pressure. Even when she shouldn't have to, I never doubted her." Jax replied quietly

"I got the gift for you they're delivering it tomorrow."

"Thanks." Paige let Abel down. "Daddy!" shouted the tiny blur. He promptly latched on Jax legs.

"Hey buddy," Jax grins and picks him up.

"How you doin'? alright? Wanna go check on your sister?" Abel made a face at that.

"Bud I think that sister person is here to stay." Jax laughed.

"She'll grow on you lil' man I promise." Opie says from behind him. Jax walks over to Jenna where she's holding Arizona. "Trade me?" She says.

"Yeah," he puts Abel down and takes Arizona whose wearing a purple bubble suit covered in white polka dots and a matching purple reaper beanie.

"Hi sweet girl, Wow you're getting big."

"Ahh!" the baby screeches smiling at him. "How's my Zona been huh?"

"Uncle Jax she don't talk just babbles I'm tryin' to teach her to say shit!" Trey says.

Jax laughs. "I'm sure your aunt appreciates the effort."

Jenna ruffles his hair and kisses his forehead. "Trey don't curse." She grabs at Abel as he literally climbs up her. He grabs her face forcing her to look at him. "Color Mama."

"Its on your table son."

"Thank." he kisses her on the tip of the nose and climbs down. He grabs Jax's hand and drags him toward a picnic table.

"I guess I'm coloring." Jax and Jenna wheels along behind him.

"I guess you are. Watch him though caught him trying to stick a crayon up Arie's nose last week."

"Chapel in ten." Clay hollers. "Fifteen!" Jenna yells back "Let Jax enjoy his kids a bit first Jesus!"

"They'll be there later Jennasis."

"Not the point. He's an asshole." Jenna whispers the last part to Jax. He smiles. "Yes he is." and he kisses her.

-/-/-/-

Twenty minutes later when Opie's leaving the chapel he nearly steps on Arie. She's on all fours, big blue eyes shining up at him a chubby slobber covered hand smacks his boot she smiles.

"Hi baby girl, Jax there's a girl waiting on you out here."

"Tell Ima to take a hike."

"I think you'll like her she's red headed."

"Tell Jenna-" he made it to the door. "Oh its my baby…" Jax picks her up.

"Zona! They're going to make me put you down." he tells her he kissing the top her head.

"She smells good what is that?" Opie leaned over and sniffed

" Nestles baby hair lotion and the only reason I know that is because Jen sent me to a pharmacy in Lodi to get it."

"She needs lotion for her hair?"

"Prevent cradle cap or some shit."

"Give the baby back to its mother and for god's sake quit sniffing her." clay griped "we got shit to do."

-/-/-/-

After the meeting with the Russians Jax went home. It was warmly homey and quiet.

"Jenna! Where are you?" He hollers

Shh, Jackson kids are sleeping."

He finds her in the bathroom in front of the vanity in a frayed pink robe.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

She looks back at him in the mirror. "Getting ready for the wedding. You?" he's staring at the cross pendanant of her tattoo. "What?" She asks catching his stare.

"You're beautiful Jenna." he shoves off the wall walking toward her. He surprises her brushing his lips across the freckles peppering the bridge of her nose and cheeks that she typically covers up.

The gesture is sweet and very rare from Jax. His mouth lands on hers hot and hard. She smirks into his mouth, there's the guy she knows. She goes to curl her hands into his hair only to realize its no longer there. She settles for wrapping herself around him when he lifts her from the chair.

They are bare of clothes before she can blink. Jax is looking at her like she's precious and sacred. Like he did when she first came home, truthfully, it kind of freaks her out. "Jax…" his hand skims up her side stopping on her ribs where her new tattoo resides. A black and grey treble clef filled in with the names of everyone she loves. "Jax." and "Harry." are side by side it makes him smile. He presses his lips to the skin.

"Hm." he answers. "Something wrong?" he shakes his head no. "Just looking…so let me. Try breathing Jenna and stop thinking." he presses his lips to her sternum and is rewarded with a sigh. Her fingertips glide along his scalp making him shiver. His hands slide up to her breasts to squeeze gently.

"So many very dirty things I long to do to you." Jax mutters. He kisses her deeply tongues tangling.

She laughs "Well pick one or multiple things just choose." her voice is breathy and low. It drives him a little crazy. He skims his hands down her torso to catch behind her thighs to sink to her.

"Ahh…" Slides out her mouth.

"Sorry." he says. They're so close their foreheads are touching.

"I'm fine…Christ Jackson move. He thrust shallowly. He kisses her so deeply it makes her heart pound like she's fifteen again. She kisses back biting his bottom lip and causes him to growl and thrust deeper. Again and again and again. Dragging her that much closer to her end.

Sighs and groans fill the air. Jax's chest is red face set grimly. She peppers his face and shoulders in little kisses. He's so tense she knows he's holing back.

"Faster Jax its fine…" it was Like he needed permission. He set a faster pace. Bed creaking beneath them. She comes around him arching up off the bed. She bites his shoulder to keep from making noise. A few short quick thrusts later he's following her lead. She covers his mouth. "Shh, she snickers. "Do not wake them up.

"Next time…' Jax trails off trying to catch his breath as he lay beside her.

"How do you feel about dirty wedding sex?" She asks voice thick

"I'm game…just leave the heels on…"

"We need to talk…" Jax adds. "About?" Jenna prop herself up on her elbows and eyes him. He reaches up brushing her hair out of her.

"Well for starters, You know there's this thing about being your husband it kinda gives me Jenna radar and well you're setting it off so what's wrong?"

"I'll sound stupid and petty…"

"I promise not to notice, tell me."

"You think Ope and Lyla are right for each other? Is this the right thing for my brother? Will they make it?"

"Life is a total crap shoot my Darlin' if we know anything we know nothing is for sure." his finger tips crawl along the curve of her hip.

"Ope's intentions are good baby. You gotta trust him and her to know what they are doin'."

"I asked him to do that for us you know? Its easier to ask of someone than it is to do."

"Its okay to feel conflicted Jenna, you wouldn't be who you are if you weren't concerned for him."

"She better not hurt him." he pulls her to him. Dropping a kiss on her mouth

Jax chuckled. "Only you could be threatening and in scary bitch mode while naked." She lays back down her head resting on his chest She rolls her eyes at his statement.

. "That's the other thing, I want us to make it." He continues.

" I've had nothing but time to think Jenna and I just- be honest with me a minute ok? Do you want our kids to grow up how we did? Dad's in and out of jail, our mamas hating them and having no one try rely on?"

"I'd never hate you Jackson." She whispers.

"You sure about that? Because if I stay with SAMCRO I'm headed right back to jail you know it and I know it." he tangles his fingers in her hair.

"What are you saying?" She twists and looks up at him.

"I want out babe, all the way."

"But-"

"I can do it. Clay hasn't got much time left before his hands go. I wait til then make money with our new Irish deal. When he steps down I'll go then."

"Your mom is not going to sit passively by and let you go Jax. John wanted out and…. "

"She can't stop me, John was a coward who couldn't do the right thing I am not living that way baby."

"Jax I left I did it. It's fucking hard. Having no roots and no safety net. My dad he'll-" She starts to tear up.

"This club stopped being what it was created for before we were even born. Now its about greed and blood, not love or brotherhood. My dad wrote about change I'm just going to change it. He understands Darlin' and I'll be your roots Jenna, your safety net. I'm not leaving you. Not now. Not ever. Please let me take care of you, the kids. Lets break this completely fucked cycle what do you say?"

"I say, I'll follow you anywhere…where you think Ope's gonna land on things?"

He shrugs. "I think he'll follow you anywhere." Arizona let out a plaintive cry. Jax grins so wide it makes Jenna laugh "It's a baby girl not a new Harley Jax."

"So, I got her." he kisses her rolls her off of him and puts on pants and goes to get her. Jenna so wants to lay in the afterglow but she has a wedding to get to so she doesn't. She gets up.

Jenna stops in the middle of testing the shower when she hears Jax singing I love you this big to Arizona. She laughs she can't help it. He's so off key and just awful that its sweet.

"Baby you watch American Idol in the clink?"

"Shut up she likes it."

-/-/-/-

Jax finds Jenna sitting a few yards down the road from where the wedding will take place. In her low cut v-necked blue dress. Face turned skyward.

"What is she doing?" Lyla asks approaching in her insanely short wedding dress.

"If I know my wife she's praying."

"For?"

"Peace. Ope's happiness. Understanding and an answer she'll never find."

"I'll get her…" Jax says and walks toward Jenna.

"You're stunning. you know that?" he calls out. She turns. "You're just trying to get laid." she yells back smiling. Her hair is in an intricate braided up do, curls framing her face. Her make up reminds him of a china doll. Pale skin, red lips and slightly smoky eyes. She looks perfect to him.

"Am not if I was I'd tell your rack looks great in that dress. Which it does."

"Jackson!" he reaches her leans into her, dropping a quick kiss on her mouth.

"Really, its very distracting. She laughs, mission accomplished "Be my arm candy?" he says. "Ready when you are Jaxy."

-/-/-/-

"Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the you will feel no cold, for you'll always be warmth for each you will feel no loneliness, for you'll always be each other's you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. " the pastor recites the apache blessing it's pretty and fitting. Jax winks at her at the last line. She grins and winks back.

Jax jokes like he lost the ring. "Real mature Jackson." Jenna mutters but laughs.

Their vows are simple and to the point but Jenna still tears up.

"What else?" Jax prompts. Both Winston siblings roll their eyes but Opie says it. "I promise to treat you as good as my leather…"

"And ride you as much as my Harley…"everyone repeats with him.

"Go to it." the pastor says they kiss and just like that her brother's married.

-/-/-/-

Jenna approaches the knot of men around Opie intent on asking Jax to dance but just as she reaches him placing her hand on his back to draw his attention Piney comes over.

"Hey my girl, I believe I owe you a belated dance." Jax grins.

"Mama put you up too it?" Opie snickers and hands Jax a gun.

Townes van zant's If I needed you begins. With that Jenna knows it was his choice.

"They're playin' our song." Piney says. Jenna goes to roll on to the dance floor. Before she can he picks her up out of the chair. "Daddy!"

"Hush I'm fine."

"How does she do that? He's mean as fuckin' rattler any other time." Tig said.

"It's Jen." "Its Jenna." Jax and Opie say at the same time. Jax watches them smiling, sometimes he wishes he'd given her a proper wedding he's glad she's got this moment.

-/-/-/-

"I see trees of green…" Jax looks up to see Jenna singing the brides request and Opie goes to dance with his wife.

"Stuff to do baby, I'll be back." he calls out.

"Red roses too…" he really just wants to sit and listen to her but Clay's in the world's biggest hurry. She waits for a break in the music.

"Save me a dance Cowboy?"

"You save me one."

-/-/-/-

He comes back from dealing with Russians to find Jenna cutting a rug with Opie and the kids, he plops down in the empty seat next to Lyla, smiling as he watches Opie spin her so fast its making him dizzy. "Are they really dancing to firework?" Jax asks. Lyla nods.

"They sure are something,' Lyla smiles just a tiny bit sadly. "Opie!" Jenna squeals at the unexpected dip she'd been tipped into. Jax laughs and looks over at Lyla. "What's wrong?"

"You ever get used to it, coming in second?"

"Knew this was coming." He taps the table gently. He chooses his words carefully.

" There are no real places because they don't even know they do it. That closeness, it's survival skill and defense mechanism. Its love, different from what he shares with you but its just as strong. It's instinct for them not choice. We can't fault them for it that's not fair." Jax stands and then cuts in on Opie when it fades into a slow song.

He lifts her from the chair. "Men just keep carrying me around a girl could get used to this." She teases. He pulls her flush against him and holds her tight.

"Don't drop me I can't wrap around you in this thing."

"I got ya. You look so good." He grins at her.

"Trying to get laid….'

"Dirty wedding sex." he reminds her and she giggles.

They dance with the haunting and soulful song, gravelly voice of the national's lead. "Break my arms around the one I love and be forgiven by the time my lover comes break my arms around my love." Jenna sings along softly.

"I'm happy." Jenna whispers. He kisses her exposed neck. He tights his grip and breathes into the curve of her neck,

"Harry…" she calls out. "Hm," he says back.

"It's good to see you happy."

"You too Jen."

For all of SAMCRO's chaos Jax is glad he can have moments like this of total peace.


	2. Episode 2: Red

Jax rolled out of bed and went to shower coming back into his bedroom to get dressed he finds the closet empty. His underwear drawer too. Okay, he's not so hung over that he misplaced every item he owned.

He wonders into the kitchen towel clad. "Jenna honey where are my clothes?" she nods to living room where three full duffle bags sit.

"What?" His brows quirked.

"Remember when you said you'd do anything to get me back? Now you get to prove it, earn your way back earn my trust. That's no longer a given. We're going back to the basics here Jax." She turns from the sink where she's washing bottles. Abel sits in his booster seat the table playing with his breakfast.

"You're kicking me out of my own home?"

"Not really kicking out so much as asking you to stay at the clubhouse."

"But we…last night?" Jax says truly confused.

"I still want and love you Jax. You wanted to have sex and so did I it was mutually beneficial."

"Don't make it sound like we have some business deal Jenna!"

"Its funny, you don't mind using the whores but don't wanna be treated like one. Remember that the next time the pussy for pay sidles up next you."

"Jenna, that was a year ago. Are you really still mad?"

"Do I look mad?" She dried her hands on a cup towel.

"That grape will not fit up your nose Abel Jackson." She says without looking away from Jax.

"Well a little yeah."

"Mama fun killer." Abel mumbles. Jax silently agrees with his son.

"All I want Jax is for you to do what you said. You love me and only me prove it."

"How am I supposed to do that living at the club? Let me stay we'll work on it. Spend time together, actual dates. I'll tell you where I am and what I'm doing Jenna. I'm not going to fuck around on you but you gotta give me some kind of shot here baby." He crosses his arms over his chest.

She sighed. "Christ sometimes I'm so much like my mother I could fucking cry. Your underwear and jeans are in the red duffle. Shirts in the blue."

He walked over to her and bent down to kiss her. "Thank you baby."

"Yeah,"

He went and got dressed and called Opie while Jenna dressed.

"Hey dude, I need your help to move a gift I got for Jenna."

"What is it?"

"A piano." Jax whispered.

"You are insane. I'm not helping you move a fucking piano." Opie muttered into the phone.

"It's Jenna's anniversary gift Ope, come on. I need her outta the house can you enlist Lyla's help." Jax grinned knowing Opie's complaining strictly for forms sake,

"My fuckin' sister. Yeah sure whatever, she'll go do something girly with Lyla before work anyway."

"Thanks dude I need all the help I can get she tried to kick me out"

Opie laughed. "Of course she did. Who do you think gave her the idea."

"That's so wrong! You're my brother."

"She's my sister and you cheated. See you in thirty."

-/-/-/-

Jenna returns wearing a Jimi Hendrix t-shirt she'd converted into a halter top, jeans and her work boots her hair thrown up in a ponytail.

"You look…."

"Fat?" She supplied.

"I was going to say…like you. I think I have an old picture of you in that top. You're about 18."

"I usually help Daddy open the shop your mom watches them til noon and then Alia comes after that. I can switch it around and put Lyla off if you want."

"Nah, I can handle it. No need to mess with their routine."

"I'll feed Arie before I leave."

"I got it."

"God Lyla's already freaked out over the thing with the Russians, She's already called me this morning. This was us wasn't it? Ya'll made the morning news, or at least the bodies in the mayor's favorite baby did."

"Retribution to my attack babe,"

"Good. They can't connect the dots can they?"

"Not with anything concrete." She nods.

"Wait! You kept old pictures of me?" he turns and digs something out of his cut pocket, and lays on the table. It's the black and white photo of them lying together in bed. It is creased and folded from being in his pocket so long.

"Jackson…." she says quietly.

"What?"

"Why? I mean…how long has this been in your pocket?"

"I kept it because I liked it and since about six weeks after you left."

"I just set shit on fire and you kept it." Her voice wobbles ever so slightly.

"Well, we weren't over…it was just a feeling I had." Tears fill her eyes.

"Shit Jenna don't cry!" he stands up still holding Abel and goes over to her.

"I just- even when I'm a bitch to you like earlier you still love me and god I need to shut up I'm turning into a sap. I missed you okay. It's good to have you home. I'm going to check on Arie before I find more reasons to cry."

He kissed her. "Stop trying to be so tough okay. You don't have to be all the time."

Abel reaches for her.

"What's with the grabby hands?" Jax asks looking down at Abel

"I'm okay bud. He's trying to hold me Jax. He does the same thing if Arie gets upset except he says holds it!" He hands him over just as Arizona starts crying.

"I'll get her. Mornings will be our thing okay? Me Abey and Zona."

"Alright…"

There's a knock at the door. She rolls over and opens it to see Opie on the other side. "Oh Hi Bubba,"

"Morning Jenny."

"Oh shit I think she exploded Jenna…" Jax calls out.

"Lyla's waiting on you listen-" Opie tries to say but Jenna cuts him off

"She doesn't know shit I figured that much Opie."

"I just- the less she knows the safer it is for her and you always know everything I just- don't slip."

"That's insulting Opie I know enough to bury this fucking MC and I've never said shit stop being paranoid over your bright shiny porn princess step ford."

"I know you're right its just-"

"Ope, I love you and I get it, I do but lying to her isn't going to keep her any safer than Donna. What happened? Happened because of Clay and Stahl not you."

"I won't say a word I never do. Go help Jax I think Arie laid an atomic poop on him." she puts Abel down and rolls out the door shouting an "I love you!" Over her shoulder to the whole house.

-/-/-/-

"Alright dude she's down the street." The smell hits Opie like a brick wall.

"Oh my god." Opie coughs. "I see super pooper got you…"

"My eyes are burning." Jax complains

"Breathe through your mouth." Opie advised

"She's smiling like its fucking funny."

"Sure she is she feels better."

"One more wipey thing and I think you got it." freshly diapered and the dirty one thrown in the trash. Jax goes to pick her up.

"After that I'm not sure you are entirely human but I love you anyway." he kisses her blocking her hand from pulling his beard he kisses it and picks her up.

"Delivery guy will be here in ten." He says to Opie "You wanna eat Zona? Yeah! How's a bottle sound? Daddy's got this don't look so skeptical."

She sees Opie and squeals slapping her hands excitedly on Jax's shoulder and chest. "Hi buggy butt!" he smiles at her and kisses her.

They move down the hall. "Out of all the gifts why a piano? Seriously pick something lighter next year!"

"She plays the crappy one at the club she's so desperate."

"I see your point." the delivery men honk. "I'll sign for it. Feed baby girl then we'll manhandle this fucker into the house." Opie says.

Jax and Opie are standing in the front lawn hemming and ha-ing over how to get the piano into the house when Gemma arrives.

Gemma eyes how Jax is holding the baby. She's facing outward sitting on Jax's forearm leaning into his chest his other hand around her belly. Arizona eats her bottle with a serene expression on her face.

"There's only two off us so-Abel stay up here bud…" Jax says.

"Abel come on baby, gimme that child before she gets indigestion. Just lift the lower half til it rolls through the door boys." She says taking Arizona, She herds Abel back inside and leaves them.

-/-/-/-

"You are not allowed to move or divorce my sister. I'm not moving this thing again" Opie says between pants trying to catch his breath.

"How's she going to play it properly anyway?" He adds

"You know those pianos that play by themselves? Well this does that to an extent." he flips open a little keypad.

"It's got thousands of songs in its computer. She can flip this switch here to play with help type in the code, the pedals move and she's set to go. Then if she wants to compose she writes down the changes and Juice will put it into the computer for her."

"You thought this out ," Opie's eyebrows raise in surprise.

"Well yeah she deserves to be able to do normal shit."

"I like it…I was really skeptical that this would work…the colors nice…the repairs came out nice." Gemma said waking. "Ohhh," Abel said from behind her..

"I know its shiny no touching without askin' Mama alright big man?" Jax said.

"What does she mean skeptical?"

"I bought the piano from a second hand place in San Francisco was just going to fix it up paint it red and call it day. Then it bugged me she never gets to play anything the way you're supposed to so I thought maybe Juice would know some tricks. He did. We used some of his contacts for the computerized stuff and…"

"Ta da!" Abel supplied.

"Yeah buddy Ta da." Jax laughed

-/-/-/-

After Jax left Gemma set about finding the letters but they were no where in the house. "Where would she keep them?" Then in hit her Jenna kept everything from tools to guitar strings in old saddle bags of Piney's. She'd check the club first.

-/-/-/-

She sat in the pedicure chair. "Lyla you have to decide which kind of old lady you want to be. Do you want to be in the know or in the dark? Because it's easier to stay in the dark, I'll give you that but it's just not for me. If Ope says nothing happened then nothing did. I know my brother if he's one thing its honest. Just take this as a lesson though choose which side off the fence you're on and stick to it."

"Thanks, Jen I just felt like something was off but you're right Ope doesn't lie."

-/-/-/-

Jax can feel Opie's doubt and Piney's downright disbelief as they leave the chapel as though it's a coat he's wearing.

Piney stops him. "There are some things you tell my daughter after the fact and I don't say anything because she's your wife and she's trying to not make the same mistakes her mother and I made but this is totally different the cartel is dangerous. Do not tell my child anything, we go do down for this stupid bullshit that's one thing but she won't you got me?" He says glowering darkly.

Jax fights not to roll his eyes. "Its not even voted in yet old man. You're jumping the gun. Besides, I don't lie to my wife at least not if I want her to stay my wife…"

-/-/-/-

On the way to the reservation Jax bites the bullet. "When you were inside what did you think about?

"Donna, the kids, Jen."

"Yeah well it's the same for me all I thought about was Jenna and my kids. All the time its all I thought about I want more for my kids Ope, I want something different."

"Peddling coke is your solution." He takes a final pull off his cigarette and flicks it out the window,

"No, making bank was, serious money. I'm tired of living hand to mouth."

"I watched Jen raise your kids man, she's tough she had Arizona practically by herself, you were in one hundred and ten days before she cried, on Thanksgiving Day she just fucking lost it, she cried and then she sucked it up and went on and didn't cry again as far as I know. Lyla? She's not made like that, I love her but she's not Donna she'll never make it with three kids alone if we go away."

"We're not going too. The Cartel has everyone on their payroll. We'll be safe."

"You trying to convince me or yourself? Jen's gonna flip her shit if we do this you know that right?" Opie glanced at him.

"Yeah,"

"It's your funeral dude."

"Jen hates turkey."

"It was less about the specific holiday more about your absence and your mothers whole I am an island attitude." Opie shrugged. "Gemma made her feel weak, alone. For once my mom fixed shit."

"How?"

"Let her cry it out without judging her for it."

"Makes me feel like total and complete shit."

"I know."

-/-/-/-

Jenna drops off some formula for Alia and sees the piano sitting in the corner of the living room. "What?" She rolls toward it carefully as though it might disappear. She sees Abel out of the corner of her eye as she reaches for the envelope sitting on the blood red upright Steinway.

"You know anything about this Abel?"

"Present." He grins.

Jenna opens the envelope and pulls out a letter.

Baby, 

The binder contains the codes to every song in the piano. Type it in and the peddles will move for you. Juice can always add more songs too. I tried to think of something epic or poetic to put in here but I came up with zilch. So, just know this I love you more than I'll ever be able to explain to you or anyone else. I am lucky and blessed to have you.

I love you. Happy (very late) Anniversary!

-Jax

Tears sting her eyes. She slides on to the piano bench and lifts Abel up with her.

"You like your gift Mrs. Teller? your brother and husband used curse words I've never heard before bringing it in." Alia says coming in bouncing Arizona on her hip.

Jenna laughed. "I'm sure they did I love it."

Jenna dials Jax's number it rings exactly once before she hears dial tone. She scowls and dials Opie. "Sticks! Play Sticks." She absentmindly plays chopsticks for Abel with one hand and holds her phone in the other.

Opie's phone rings but he doesn't answer. "Okay Ope, this is really weird. Neither of you will answer please call me back. Tell Jax- Tell him I said thank you. I love you both! Bye butthead!"

"Do not freak out they are fine!" She mutters to herself.

"Sticks Mama!"

"Holy crap Abel ok! I'll play sticks you ready?" She plays a little.

"Okay you press that one that's your key." Abel presses it and smiles up at her "Alright bubba that's good. Slow and steady wins the race."

-/-/-/-

After the call to Clay. "She's a red-" Jax's phone sings out before the Russian pitches it at the wall.

"The cross is someone she has not met not yet, she talks to angels they call her out by her name." Opie's phone rings out the black crows song. He tries to reach for his phone but the other guy shoves the business end of his gun into his ribs,

"Well boys, that was his wife and my sister and since we didn't answer if she finds you're fucked."

Russian expletives were their reply.

-/-/-/-

"You're late kid." Piney grumbles walking toward her.

"I know, I'm sorry Dad. Lyla drama and then I found a piano in the house imagine that! Neither Bub or Jax are answering their phones. Please tell me they just have shitty service and I'll go fix that Nissan."

"I can't Darlin' the Russians have them at wahewa." She falters.

"Do what?"

"We have to get them their guns in an hour or…"

"Don't say that. I- Dad, you can't reach dog town within the hour. Opie and I had words over Lyla I wasn't nice and I didn't kiss Jax goodbye, I was rushing I- oh god…"

"No, No panicking. Look at me and just breathe baby. We're on it okay. I need you to trust me. Just breathe."

The cops and fire marshal show up just he's caught her eye. "Breathe." he takes her hand in his and she's squeezing so tightly that he knows she's scared for real. Neither of them speak as Roosevelt begins his ruse to destroy the clubhouse.

-/-/-/-

They on the floor face down "Some honeymoon huh?"

"Shoulda stayed in bed with my wife the porn star." They laugh at that.

"They'll never make it in a hour."

"I know." Opie replies quietly

"Christ Jenna."

"Don't think about them. It'll be easier on us." just then they hear a car roll up.

-/-/-/-

"Now why are their no brothers on the wall? Could it be the sons are racists?" Roosevelt says.

"Could it just be there's no brothers on the wall." Piney says.

Roosevelt glances down at Jenna's and Piney's joined hands. "So, you're a pervy old man as well as a racist?"

"He's my father you pompous little chocolate drop." Jenna responds.

"You're pushin' me girl."

"Oh I live to piss off men Sherriff. Just ask my husband." Jenna smirks,

"I smell smoke do you?" Roosevelt asked as he stepped forward touching the wall. "I think its warm." he hefted the axe plunging into the mug shot wall.

Jenna flinched as the pictures shattered and fell. The wall shook with each hit. She pulled back reflexively on Piney's hand when he started forward.

"No Daddy." She said deadly calm. Chibs cursed and Clay mouthed off as the window and chapel doors took the next hit.

She had a sinking feeling and looked away as the axe was imbedded in the table. To her it was a redwood oak table to the Sons it was sacred.

-/-/-/-

Jenna was going to start cleaning up the club she detoured through the TM office for the broom when she say her tool bag sitting on the couch.

"I know I put this in my locker last night." she looked through it. Wrenches and screwdrivers, guitar strings, picks, makeup, Arie's stuffed piglet, the letters it was all there but had definitely been touched.

"Why is out?" She muttered.

"Baby?" Gemma called as she walked in. "Yeah."

"Call Tara, They have the boys but they're a little banged up."

" Oh thank you God. Okay, Mom did you need something from my bag? It's out."

"Oh Jax wanted your sheet music for…something."

"Uh, okay." She'd gone though all the sheet music before she'd left the house. Jax had set it all inside the bench compartment. She raised an eyebrow but picked up the phone and dialed Tara. Like she hadn't just caught Gemma in a lie.

-/-/-/-

Jenna put her tool bag into Piney's locker. Relocking it when Tara approached.

"Hey Jen,"

"Hey doc follow me."

Tara scowled "Alright?"

"What in the fuck happened here?" Tara said as they walked through the club toward the apartment.

"Sherriff with anger issues."

In the apartment bathroom.

"Jen we're friends now so I can actually say this to you and know what I'm talking about. You're being weird."

"I think Gem is watching me and this convo needs to be private."

"Gemma watches half the town since she think she owns it Jen. Why the bathroom?"

"It grosses Gemma out. Listen I was going through Jax's things from Ireland. I found these letters from John to another woman Maureen Ashby anyway apparently they had a lovechild, but that's not what's got me freaked out. John had I dunno a fucking premonition, a feeling that Gemma and Clay were going to kill him or at least play a part in it."

"And you're telling me this because?"

"I asked my dad about it he totally freaked on me and now Gemma's going through my shit. Its just should I tell Jax or…look you're the only person besides me who knows him well enough to be helpful…what do you think?"

"I don't know Jen, I mean are you sure?"

"I don't know yeah kinda I think so. I'm trusting you here Tara."

"I know can I read them? I'll look into it get Gemma off your back."

"Why would you do that?"

"We both love him Jen. I conceded to you I didn't stop caring and we're some weird ass version of friends so why not."

"Girls they're pulling up." Lyla shouts to them.

-/-/-/-

Tara reaches him first only because she has the whole legs that work thing going for her he hugs her lightly and shrugs her off bee lining it for Jenna.

He picks her up and hugs her so tightly Jenna knows not only was it a close call but Jax was actually scared.

"Jenna." he says lowly.

"Hi baby. Are you okay? What happened to you."

"I'm okay. Flipped Ope's truck. Just a bit scratched up. Do you like the piano?"

Jenna laughs. "Yes I love it." Jax has yet to loosen his hold Opie walks over from where he'd been hugging Lyla. Jenna snakes hand out to touch Opie's face.

He leans down and kisses the top of her head. "We're fine Jenny. It didn't happen again alright." Jenna choked on a sob and hugged Jax tighter.

-/-/-/-

Jax kicks the debris surrounding his feet, pulling Jenna along behind him by the hand. "We'll get someone in to clean this up." Clay says.

"I started on it, all the glass and having a baby who crawls on this floor makes me antsy but I couldn't get the axe out of the table." Jenna says.

"There's an axe in the table?" Jax asked.

"Sheriff's metaphorical way of kickin' us in the nuts." Jenna answered.

"I'll get it."

-/-/-/-

Jenna set up a family dinner at their place even inviting Tara. Ope had talked her into playing something on the piano and now they're playing guess the song.

Jax and Opie are the only one's doing any good. No one else knows Jenna's mind or the veritable jukebox of tunes in her head well enough to play.

She plays a little "Jesus freaks out in the street handing tickets out for god-tiny dancer. Try harder sis." Opie says.

She rolls her eyes and goes into a new song. She plays a bit and no one says anything. "Little Mermaid!" Abel shouts. "That's right Bubba, a part of your world."

"You let him watch The Little Mermaid?" Jax asks.

"Don't be a sexist pig baby." Jenna replies.

She plays the begin of a some what bluesy song she almost reaches the bridge when Paige shouts "Pokerface!"

"No way, that's… you rearranged it." Lyla said Jenna shrugged as Paige sang along. "Got bored." Jenna replied.

-/-/-/-

Jenna was cleaning up the food as the last guest left. "Arie has a heart check up tomorrow want to come? I'm having lunch with Tara after but-"

Jax turned from closing the door. "You guys have lunch? it's the apocalypse!"

"Shut up! You coming or not?" He grins and sits on the counter next to the sink. "Yes, I'll be there. I need to lower these for you." He tapped the counter with his knuckles.

Jenna looked up and saw something in his eyes that she couldn't define.

"We're running coke for the Galindo Cartel. Please don't yell the kids are asleep." He confesses.

"Come again, I'm sure I misheard you."

"You didn't baby, if I back Clay for this then I've got his word when I'm out he'll let me go."

"This is monumentally stupid Jackson. Drugs aren't guns. Drugs make people crazy and desperate. We both know Clay's word is only as a good as what benefits him. Clay gave you his word he wasn't going to off my brother and now Opie's wife's dead. So excuse me if I think Clay's word and this scheme is shit."

"I get what you're saying baby I do. I have reservations too, its just that Clay wants this and I think I can get what we want as a side effect."

"I hate this and I hate being scared you know that I don't scare easy but this it terrifies me."

"I'm going to keep you safe Jenna and our children I promise." He leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"Promise me you'll keep you safe." He kissed her on the mouth. "Promise."

He jumped down from the counter. "Now leave the dishes for in the morning and come to bed I've had a long day."

"If I leave them they get all-"

"Shut up and move Jenna."

"Bossy!"

"I love you."

"You're still bossy." She said as he pushed her down the hall.

"I have a secret to tell you." Jax adds as they stop to look in on the kids.

"Yeah." Jenna whispers as she removes a matchbox car from Abel's death grip.

"The best part of my day." He looks down at Arizona "should I move? Her arm is gonna fall asleep laying like that."

"You never ever wake a sleeping Arie. The best part of your day was what?"

"Making Zona laugh when I was trying to change that horrible diaper you left me with. You will pay by the way, but she smiled and giggled so hard I'd think she was Tig's child with that sadistic sense of humor if I didn't know any better."

Jenna gagged. "That's not funny I'm still shocked someone chose to procreate with him." Jax laughed.

-/-/-/-

Jenna curled around Jax in the bed. "You're going to end up on top of me aren't you?" Jax asked with a laughed.

"Totally. Its my life's mission to use you as a mattress." He chuckled and kissed her deeply. "Goodnight. I love you."

"Goodnight Jaxy and right back at you." She snuggled into. They we're both asleep with minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I own nothing but my characters. The piano idea came from my head I'm not sure it actually exists. Obviously I'm taking a different approach to the letters.
> 
> Songs used: Redheaded Woman by Wade Bowen, She Talks To Angels By The Black Crows, Tiny Dancer by Elton John, A Part Of Your World By Disney, Pokerface by Lady Gaga. I do not own or have anything to do with anything.
> 
> Please review and most importantly I hope you enjoyed it.


	3. Episode3: Holes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing but the OCs, My episode names are different than the canonical ep names.

"You nervous about the vote?" Jenna asks as she lounges atop Jax. He twines a red lock of hair between his fingers.

"Not nervous really, It's gonna go how its gonna go and that's that. I do wonder which way Ope's gonna land though it'll be a tight vote." She looks up from drawing imaginary designs on his chest.

"I could talk to him. I won't push him either way, just ya know help him keep objectivity. No one knows him better than me Jax."

"That is true. He's your brother I won't stop you from talking to him. Just be careful Clay's touchy about this…a little paranoid. Oh and Piney didn't want me to tell you." He kissed her as she scowled.

"I'm a big girl I can handle more than he thinks." Jax chuckled as he kissed her again.

"Don't get all offended baby, he knows you're tough he's your Dad so he worries. Lets get up and get going."

"No." Jenna whined. "The tiny people are quiet that never happens. Let me enjoy it." he popped her on the rear.

"Nope can't Mom and Clay are coming for breakfast."

"Ugh, way to ruin my morning. Clay is just who I want to deal with first thing in the morning."

"I know." Jax grumbled. "He thinks we need a private pow wow. Distract Mom for me? She doesn't know."

Jenna laughed. "I'm poppin' popcorn for that show."

"It's not funny."

"Oh but baby that's where you are wrong. Miss all knowing I might as well be a son outta the loop. That's rich."

"Jenna…" She rolls off him allowing him to get up.

"Fine we'll go through random baby junk."

-/-/-/-

Jax didn't watch Jenna get ready for the day. So he's surprised when she wonders in carting in random crap. Not only is she wearing a turquoise halter dress with a very deep v-neckline. Her hair is different. Its straight done in a modern beehive with a low side ponytail. Her make up is done in pale colors and nudes. Complete with winged eyeliner.

He's staring and he knows it but with she literally looks like she stepped out of the Haight Ashbury circa 1963. She looks so pretty it makes him smile.

She catches him staring. "What?" She scowls at him.

"You look like a bond girl or something…it's a little weird and hot at the same time." He teases.

She huffs air and flutters her bangs. "Well if I-"

"You look great girl. Makes me miss the sixties." Clay says

"Thanks!" She smiles at that.

"Ope's gonna make a crack though…" Jax grinned

"Shut up Jackson."

"Glad you're around Miss Jenna. It's never boring." Clay says kindly but there's an under current to the compliment that makes Jenna uneasy.

She rolls her eyes and grins. "Sure, getting laid regular is making you down right cheery Clay. Jax the appointment is at 11."

"I'll be there. We gotta go babe, I think Zona needs changing. Thanks to yesterday that's your job."

"Coward." Jenna teased as he handed over the baby. "Love you." he kissed her and in turn Arizona then walked over and kissed Abel on the top of the head before leaving.

-/-/-/-

She really shouldn't be surprised every time she needs Jax for something, he's late or doesn't bother showing at all because the club's had some urgent crisis. She sits in the parking lot with Arizona in her lap.

She speed dials Jax. "Well its 11 and you aren't here, I'll handle it don't worry I've gone to every doctors appointment she's ever had without you. Why should now be any different? Bye. I love you. Stay safe." she hangs up. She kisses Arie on the top of the head. Holds the baby with one hand and steers the chair with the other.

She's cursing and grumbling when a orderly finally comes along and helps her.

She fills out the paperwork and is ushered back to an exam room.

She strips the baby out of her blue daisy print sundress and down to her diaper and socks and lays her on the table out of sheer habit.

"How's Mama's girl? Huh? Can you say Mama?" Jenna grins down at her. Arizona giggles and makes a grab for her ponytail.

"Come on you can do it. Mama?" She just grins and tries to chew the end of Jenna's ponytail.

"No Arie bug." She gently removes her hair from the girl's hand.

Tara slips in. "She'll say Dada first you know? They all do." Tara flips through the file.

"Hm, Well Arie will defy convention won't you?"

Tara smiled. "Her height and weight look good… Let's have a look at her heart then we'll do some blood work." Tara caught Jenna's grimace.

"I hate poking her as much as you do I promise." Tara crosses her arms over chest.

"I keep waiting for this to get routine and it just doesn't I don't know how Gemma did it."

"Neither do I, Jen you are a good Mom and no I'm not just blowing smoke up your ass." Tara smiles when Jenna chuckles.

"Here, lets get started." Tara sits on a rolling stool and fixes the machine. The baby tries to squirm away as she puts the cold gel on her chest. She whimpers.

"I know you don't like it baby girl I'm sorry." Tara says. Jenna kisses Arizona's forehead and gives her one of her bangle bracelets to play with.

"Hm," Tara murmurs.

"Hm what? Don't hm at me Knowles." fear edges Jenna's voice making her sound defensive.

She moves the paddle. "Do not freak out it could be a shadow but I think I see another hole."

"What? How could you miss that?" She tries not to but it comes out a little accusatory.

"I'm not sure but I want to run more tests, an EKG, to check her heart function and another three dimensional scan to get a clearer look."

"But how?"

"Some things they slip through the cracks until they don't. It could be nothing Jen I'm just being proactive in case." sympathy paints Tara's face.

"When?"

"Tomorrow work for you?"

"Sure I- I'm scared and Jax isn't here and…" She says frantically.

"Just call him. It's going to be okay." Tara assures.

-/-/-/-

Jax is opening the trunk of hoodlums when his phone rings.

"Hey baby, listen I'm sorry we ran into a tiny snag I'll-"

"They found another hole Jax."

"Do what Jenna?" he gestures for one of the guys to take over and walks away so he can hear better he's dimly aware of Opie following him.

"Tara thinks she found another hole in Arie's heart." Jenna voice is teary and shaky and Jax is pretty sure he's stopped breathing.

"How is that possible, I mean they went in and fixed it. You think they'd see others."

"I don't know Jax I just know what Tara told me, she said it could be a shadow on the imagery but she wants to like triple check so… we're coming in for more tests tomorrow."

"Where are you?" Tig is trying to catch his attention. "What?" He barks at him,

"No, not you Darlin' " He turn his attention back to Jenna.

"They sold to Vivica or so they claim." Opie waves Tig off finally.

"The hospital Tara's going to force me into lunch so take care of your snag and I'll see you at the clubhouse before the vote okay?"

"Jenna I can come and get you, I just need a few minutes. Hour and a half maybe…"

"Alright I'll wait in Tara's office."

"Alright, thanks for understanding baby, I love you."

"I know. I love you too. Tell Ope, to call me please." She sniffed.

"Will do bye Jenna."

He hung up and pinned Ope intensely with his gaze. "They found a new hole in my kid's heart or at least Tara thinks she did."

"Fuck man. Arie or Abel?"

"Zona. You're sister needs to talk to you call her."

-/-/-/-/-

Opie calls Jenna leaning against his bike as they load the guns back into the van.

"Hey Jen,"

"Hey," She says tiredly.

"You cool?"

"No, yeah…really to be honest? I don't know either way Ope, Can we talk about something else?"

"Sure, Oooh I know! If you see Juice run or er…roll away real fast!"

"Why?" He can hear her holding back a laugh.

"He'll try and talk you into getting a mint colonic or some shit, pardon the pun."

"Who would let Juice get near their actual ass with any sort of object? Jesus and people call us weird."

"See people don't call us weird to my face."

"They fear you Ope, you are one fearsome fucker." She jokes.

"I would do the whole Winston sibling power fist thing but the guys are starting to look over." He adds.

"Chicken shit!"

"I'm not doing it. Once in public was enough thank you!"

"Alright you are getting boring in your old age."

"Take that back!"

"Which part? How you feelin' bout the vote?"

"You know? Shit." Opie sighs.

"Duh! Yes I know, now talk."

"Jax has you doing his dirty work now?" a little anger heats his words and he shoots Jax a dirty look.

"That's unfair and you know it. Just talk to me."

"This isn't what we do Jen!"

"I know and I agree but I also know Jax and he's not going to something that he thinks is more dangerous than it is profitable and even though you don't say it, I know you're scared of going to prison because Lyla is exactly the opposite of independent but you stand just as much chance of that happening running guns."

"If she bails and I do go away-"

"I'll raise them. It's what I came home for anyway right?"

"You shouldn't have too. They're my kids."

"Well if Jax is as sure of things as he claims to be I won't have too."

"Jen?"

"Yep."

"I love you."

"I love you too." She sniffed back tears. "The kid's gonna be fine Jen."

"From your mouth to god's ears."

"We're rollin' out see you later."

" Stay safe. Bye." They both hung up and Jenna headed to the cafeteria to have wilted salads with Tara.

-/-/-/-

Gemma is at the hospital to renew the prescription for her heart medication when Jenna catches her eye having lunch with Tara. Tara hands Jenna an accordion folder and they keep talking. Gemma hides herself and waits. She finds Jenna later in Tara's office.

-/-/-/-

Jenna sits in Tara's office waiting on Jax when Gemma comes in and sits on the couch.

She holds up a note. "I found this, Abel had it."

"What is it?" Jenna cuts her eyes to Gemma

"A note."

Jenna shrugged. "So what's that got to do with me?"

"It's taking about some letters John wrote."

"Again. I'm missing your point."

"No, you aren't but I'll humor you anyway. Letters from John's mistress, found out in Ireland they had a kid. When Thomas died I stopped caring. I loved Clay by then and didn't care who knew. It humiliated John and put Clay at risk. If Jax knew any of that it could break Jax and Clay again. I loved John even when it tore me apart. A lot like you and Jax."

"Gemma," She caught her eyes. "Right now, I don't care what you're angle is or what you're thinking and I truly couldn't give a flying fuck about your Clay/John soap opera. Wanna know why? Tara found another hole in Arizona's heart, so forgive me if I'm worried about the living and bigger shit than dead history."

"What? How? Is she sure?"" Gemma watched Arie stand on Jennn's lap as she giggles collapsing seconds later on to Jenna's chest.

"I don't know how Gemma I mean, she's fine she looks healthy enough but Tara did the scan and saw something. So we're coming back for more tests tomorrow." Gemma nods.

"And why are you sitting here?" Gemma asks.

"I was a little shaken up when I called Jax. He said he'd come get us I took that to mean he didn't want me driving so I'm waiting."

"Call him back I'll take you home."

"I need to go to the shop first and see Jax."

"Okay."

-/-/-/-

When Jenna rolls into the shop office Piney notices two things, something is really off with his kid and… "He told you didn't he? And let me guess you don't like it."

"Who told her what?" Gemma asked.

"He told me yeah, but its not that." Jenna threw her purse on the couch.

"Then what the hell is wrong with you? Who messed with you? I'll-"

"Daddy no one messed with me. Arie might be sick we don't know yet and I'm so tired of talking about it so please-" her voice broke.

"Lets talk about anything else."

"How about what she knows that I don't?"

"You're old man's getting us into some deep shit. He wants us running drugs for the Cartel. Talk some sense into him would you? You may be the only one who can." Piney finished and handed Jenna a bandana to wipe at the tears she was trying valiantly to keep from falling.

"Do what?" Gemma griped.

"You heard me." piney grumbled and reached over as Gemma left grabbing Jenna's wrist he gently pulled her chair toward him and hugged her.

"It's okay let go." He told her

She sobbed into his chest. "I'm so scared."

"I know but everything's going to be alright." He watched over her shoulder as Clay grabbed on to Gemma said something and walked off.

Opie and Jax approached.

"Hey my Jenna." Jax says moving to stand next to her. She sits up and wipes her eyes like she's been caught. "I'm fine."

He squats down without being asked. "Well, you just lied to me but here's the thing its okay that you aren't fine thank you for trying to protect me though." he kissed her quickly.

"I'm not going to shoot you. You married her kissing is allowed." Piney said and Jenna snickered.

"Where's the baby?" Jax asked, "Juice has her."

"We're voting." Clay hollers. Jax rolls his eyes and stands to his full height and walks out Piney and Opie trailing him. The sweet butt who Jenna thinks is named Bryn brings Arizona to her.

Gemma comes back and holds up a joint. "Wanna share?"

"God yes…world's shittiest day definitely calls for a little Mary Jane."

-/-/-/-

An hour later all of Jenna's men march toward her. Her Daddy looked pissed, Jax looked tired and Opie looked a little resigned. She knows the deal passed/

Jax reaches her and takes Arizona from her lap. "Ready to head home?" He kissed Arizona's cheek. "Hi baby girl."

"Do I even wanna know?" She nodded over to Piney.

"Probably not. Ready to go?" "Yup."

"You good to drive?" Jax asked her.

"Yeah." Flithy Phil drove up in her truck. "Valet service. How nice?"

Jax straps the baby in.

-/-/-/-

They are pulled a long side each other. Jax revs his bike engine. Jenna smirks "You wanna go Cowboy?" She callls out her rolled down window. She revs in return. "Then lets go." she laughs.

"The baby's in the car."

"Bullshit you know I'll beat you and you just can't handle it."

"Whatever…" Jax shrugs.

"Always with the big talk Teller."

"I'll show you big talk later woman."

"Is that right? Well I'm looking forward too it." She flashed a grin at him.

-/-/-/-

Jax wakes alone at 2:34 am. He gets up and follows the sound of the muffled tv. Jenna is sitting curled on the couch in a Cowboys jersey and shorts. Ice cream bowl in her hands.

"I forget that you stress eat. What are you watching?" he scratches his chest and stumbles forward only half awake. "Hoarders. I hate this show but its like a train wreck I can't look away." He lifts her forward and slides in behind her.

"Its disgusting. This isn't the dead cat one is it? I'll watch grey's anatomy to avoid petrified felines."

Jenna laughed loudly. "That should not be as funny as it is."

"Jax you are so calm, I can't be your Mom so hard acting like it didn't break her. He put his arms around her. His chin resting on her shoulder.

"You're getting ahead of yourself baby. She'll be fine." he punctuated his sentence by pressing a kiss into her neck.

"And if she isn't fine Jackson, then what?" she looks at him. The tv light playing on his skin.

"We'll fix it and trust God with the rest. You'll never be like my mom because we aren't our parents Jenna. I've got you and you've got me. We don't bail, not anymore. I love you more than anything and that's the difference. They stopped loving each other. We never will no matter what happens."

"I love you too, so much but I'm just truthfully I'm terrified. I didn't handle this well last time, I acted tough but if I'm being perfectly honest? Opie got me through that. He carried me through. Sat with me in the chapel for hours."

She laughed. "We played Go Fish while Tara fixed my kid."

"It was Lincoln Logs during Thomas' surgery." he smiled sadly. "I haven't thought of that in years. Ope and I tried to replicate the clubhouse. We were short a few logs."

"Ha! Y'all still are. Only people I know who'd taunt fucking Russians."

"Don't hate. That shit was fun." she elbowed him in the gut. "Fun my ass." She shot back.

"Uh ouch. You sleepy yet woman?" he turned her a little to kiss her on the mouth.

"You could always back up that big talk you were making earlier until I am." he got up.

"Don't have to tell me twice." he flung her over his shoulder and headed for the bedroom.

"Jackson!" She said. "Shh…" she slapped his butt.

"Do that again I liked it." they both know joking around and sex to forget even temporarily is just a band aid but it's a needed band aid.


	4. Episode 4: Tests & Testimony

"Didn't we just go to bed? Whatcha doin up?" Jenna asked with a yawn.

"Organizing my thoughts, watchin' Zona bug sleep."

"I like to do that too. I'm resisting the urge to tease you about you're diary just so you know." She rolls into sit next to him and smiles.

Jax grins. "Well your lyrics are like a page over so…"

"Don't! its not done…" she lunges for the booklet. He holds it away from her with one hand with the other he grabs the back of her neck and pulls her in for a kiss. She smirks against his lips and makes a final grab for the journal before kissing him back.

The kiss is deep and slow, it lets her knows something is off with Jax. He only does the "Memorize this moment." thing if something's wrong.

"What?" She says when they break. "I know that kiss and it means bad shit."

"We're making the first run today." he says quietly and avoids her gaze.

"Arizona's appointment is today Jax and its not minor." She crosses her arms over her chest.

"Don't you think I know that! She's my goddamn daughter too." fights the urge to yell. An angry line takes up between his eyes.

"What happened to all that I've got you you've got me bullshit you were spouting last night was that all it was? Lies and bullshit to shut me up." she cocks her head and raises her brows at him. In the universal sign for I want answers.

"No Jenna it wasn't and you know it. I have to do this the guys are expecting me to back my shit up." hands are on his hips it ets her know he's frustrated. She doesn't care.

"Yeah! Well so was I, I see where your loyalties lie yet again. You want out right? Something to remember when you're out me and the kids are gonna be all you got. I'd be thinking about promises Jackson, which ones I'd keep which ones I'd break. Because you break one to her and she might not be around to apologize to later."

"That's a cruel thing to say to me Jenna." he says quietly.

"Sorry baby but the truth and fate often cruel." She turns to leave he grabs her arm and loosens his grip remembering Opie's old threat.

" I did this to her. Me. My genes! My fucked up family tree." he says lowly. She sees the pain in his eyes and automatically regrets her words.

"Jax that's not what I meant baby. I'm tired and freaked the fuck out."

"What time's the appointment? I'll push stuff back."

"Nine for the scan, then the EKG and the sleep study to check her function as she sleeps."

"We'll leave later I'll go to the scan with you at least. That way we find out together Clay doesn't like it he can kiss my ass."

She grabbed a handful of his hoodie and stole a quick kiss. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me Jen. It's my damn job. I'm her father."

"Jax I'm -"

"I'm not mad baby just tired of juggling the things I shouldn't have too especially my children." he walked out and Jenna followed to get dressed.

-/-/-/-

Arizona lay diaper clad on the table squirming. "Can I try something?" Jax asked.

"Sure." Tara said.

He picks the baby up. And sits on the table laying the baby on his chest. "Mom used to do this with Tommy. She'll be more still in my arms." he grins at Jenna reassuringly.

Arixona ignores Tara's ministrations entirely temporarily distracted with the goal of chewing Jax's fingertips clean off.

Jenna cringes. "Are your hands clean Jax?"

Jax chuckles. "Yeah babe is she hungry or - ow she bit me."

The cold gel goes on and she whimpers. "This little of mine I'm gonna let it shine, hide it under a bushel." Jax sings too her. Arie covers Jax's index finger with her hand.

"That's right smart girl…hide it under a bushel no!"

"No! gonna let it shine." Abel crows from Jenna's lap.

Tara laughs. "Now I've seen everything, Jax Teller singing nursery rhymes."

"Shut up it works."

Jax sees the defect first. Then feels more than sees Jenna stiffen next to him.

"See, there's a little hole in the atrial wall that separates the upper chambers. It's smaller than the last one."

"That's good right? You might not have to fix it?" Jenna chews her bottom lip nervously. Jax reaches for her hand.

"Her last one didn't close off and I don't hold out much hope for this one too. It's small enough that we can wait give her time to grow maybe. I don't see any valve regurgitation or chamber enlargement. That works in our favor. I still want to do the functionality tests but I'd like to wait to repair it."

"How long?" Jax asks lowly.

"Year and half maybe more depending on if its effecting the quality of her life."

Jax scowls. "Jax this isn't like when your brother was sick, there's more technology and I'm going to watch her like a hawk. We won't let anything happen to her." Jenna's struck by the fact that he was the one making her feel better last night and now in this moment faced with reality he looks like a scared kid. She squeezes his hand.

"I've got you you've got me right?"

Jax clears his throat. "Yeah, you bet. Thanks Tara."

"Let's get her checked in."

-/-/-/-/-

It feels weird and wrong to leave when his kid is in the hospital but still he does it.

He sits Arizona in the metal crib and kisses the top of her head. "Bye bye, Zona girl." Jax made a face.

"What baby?" Jenna laughed. "How old is that thing? I think that's lead paint."

"So that's what's wrong with Tiggy." He laughed and pulled her to him and kissed her. "Be careful Jackson."

He kissed her again lightly. "Always, I'll tell Mom to come get Abel."

"Alright."

"Gimmie kiss bye?" he asked Abel who kissed his cheek, "I'll call you, love you guys

"And we love you. Can you say love you Daddy?""

"Loves you Daddy. Later gator." Abel said smiling.

"Love you more bud, after while crocodile." he smiled. "Bye babe." he directed at Jenna "Bye."

She sat Abel up with some veggie tales and texted Piney.

*Daddy I know you don't text but I'm at the hospital if you need me doing Arie's check ups She has the defect again though.*

She's surprised when her phone chimes. "Well lookie there Abey baby Gramps is getting all techno savvy."

"Gramps! Me see!" abel bounced slightly in his chair reaching for the phone.

Jenna reads the text *Be there at lunch need to talk to you. Keep your head up about Arie Dawn.*

"Me see!" Abel hollers. "Gramps isn't in the phone baby."

"Una talk."

Jenna dials just as the phlebotomist is coming in "Dad talk to Abel for like five minutes Arie has to get blood work and I can't multitask."

"Hi!" Abel says into the phone. Jenna turns to the pretty Hispanic nurse.

"Hi I'm Priscilla," She smiled at Arizona.

"Where do you need me?" Jenna asked.

"No where, I'm the fastest stick in the west she won't even know I'm there." She smiled kindly. "But if it makes you feel better you can hold her."  
She picks the baby up and sets her in her lap. She rest her chin on Arie's head and looks away when she hears the tourniquet snap into place. Arie whimpers….

"And all done. She's a good little patient."

"Thank you she usually cries and…"

"That's why Dr. Knowles sent me I'm quick and never miss but you're welcome it's aways harder on the parents than the baby." The nurse cleans up her mess and leaves.

Jenna grabs the phone from Abel. "Really buddy, I agree chucky's hands are creepy."

Jenna laughs. "Hey Daddy."

"Hey my girl, what you want from Lumpy's? I'll bring you lunch."

"Burgers sound good."

"Cheese and ketchup on Lil' Man's right?"

"Yep."

"Alright see you in bit. Love you."

"Back at you Old man. Bye."

-/-/-/-

Jenna is silently musing to herself that cartoon creators hate parents when Piney comes in knocking on the door frame.

"Hey Jenny." He sits the food on the rolling tray. Piney notes Jenna's not dressed up today it's a SAMCRO hoodie and bright pink pajama pants. Her hair in a sloppy bun and no make up. He likes it. She looks like his kid today not the usual woman who tries so hard.

"Hey Daddy." Jenna turns off Abel's wiggles marathon. He grunts at her. "Eat then I'll turn it back on okay?" She sets about putting his food. "Okay."

"Thanks buddy, you're being a good boy." She ruffles his hair and kisses his forehead, he ignores her entirely.

"Hi gramps!"

"Hi Abel. Watcha doin?" he sits down and Abel crawls into his lap burger in hand. Arizona sticks her hand through the crib bars and waves at him.

"Hi baby I didn't forget you." He grins at her.

"So what did you need to talk to me about?"

"You remember a few months ago you were saying you read something of John's and had questions? Well I need to read it?"

"Why?" Gemma strides in cutting them off. "Why what baby?"

"He wants me to check on Ma. Do you ever knock?" Jenna scows

"No Darlin' that would mean I cared about boundries. I don't."

Jenna rolled her eyes. "You okay Baby? With the defect and all? Jax told me."

"I'm not okay with it no but god didn't ask my opinion so we'll deal." Gemma reached down and ran her fingers through Arizona's red curls.

"Yes we will."

"Gramps!" they looked over to see Abel poking a slumped over Piney.

"Daddy!" Jenna rolled over fast. "Daddy! Gemma get Tara I don't think he's breathing! Daddy come on wake up please!" She tapped his cheek as Gemma picked Abel and Chucky who'd appeared in the door went to get Tara. Jenna never even realized she was crying.

-/-/-/-

"My oxygen levels just got to low. It happens doc. Its not a big thing." Piney grumbled.

"Still scares the shit out me every time Dad." Jenna said arms crossed over her chest. She sat next to his hospital bed.

"Well Dr. Adams wants to keep you for observation just to be safe." Tara said. "And the drinking doesn't help things." She added.

"Hasn't killed me yet."

"Christ Daddy!" Jenna griped throwing her hands up.

"Just give him a shot of tequila he'll be fine." Gemma says strolling in.

"It's not fuckin' funny." Jenna mutters. "Where are my kids?"

"Left them with the Handy Helper."

"Fuck Gemma you know Chucky creeps the shit out of me. Tara can we put Arie and dad in the same room?"

"Sure. Lets go rescue the babies from freaky fingers first."

"Be back Old man."

"See ya My girl."

-/-/-/-

Jenna leaves Piney in Gemma's care as Tara takes Arie off for the EKG.

"Wait here Jen, you can call Opie while you wait if you need to fill him in on Piney." Jenna nods and dials Ope but he doesn't answer. She calls Jax instead. She turns the tv back on for Abel and listens to the phone ring.

Jax answers on the fifth ring. "Teller. Go."

"Uh Hi baby bad time?" Jenna tries to massage a stress kink out of her neck with one hand,

"Kinda you need something?" Jax says sounding tired to Jenna's ear.

"Just to know where Ope, is?"

"And you can't call Lyla for that?" Jax gripes.

"Damn Jax! What's wrong? They admitted my Dad to the hospital. His levels dropped he's fine but a lil back up wouldn't hurt my feelings and we both know its not like Lyla knows where the fuck Opie really is anyway."

"Its stuff with the SAMTAZ chapter Jenna. Nothing's wrong I'm sorry baby. You need my help I'll turn back?"

"And I love you for that but we both know Clay would have a shit fit. I just can't get a hold of Ope, so I'll keep trying him and if you hear from him before me you tell him okay?"

"He's up north getting a shipment from the kings. Phone's drop up there a lot. He should be back tonight though so… anyway how's the spawn?"

"Don't call them that." Jenna laughs smirking. "Abel's watching what appears to be muppet babies and Arie is getting her EKG."

"Call me with the results, I have to go vandalize a pet store I love you bye."

"What? Why?"

"Don't ask baby."

Jenna laughed. "Okay. Watch Tig though, I love you bye."

-/-/-/-

Tara looks over Arizona's EKG results and Abel looks skeptically at Chucky's hands seemingly mesmerized by them.

"Her function is really good Jen. We may not have to operate till she's three or four. I mean we'll monitor it obviously but its really the good for a kid with a septal defect. I still want the sleep study though. What this means Jen, is you can breathe." Tara actually smiles at her.

-/-/-/-

Jenna listens to the heart monitor beep as Arizona sleeps. She places a manila folder in Piney's lap. "Those are copies, I went back for them when I got my overnight bag."

"What are they?"

"Letters from Maureen Ashby. John's mistress. Why do you want these Daddy? You warned me off of them because you knew whatever was in them was bad. I didn't listen but you were right its bad break Jax into a million fucking pieces and drive him fucking bat insane if he finds out type shit."

"I need leverage Jenny to get out of this Cartel clusterfuck and if these can give me that then-"

"Dad this isn't just leverage it's a fucking pipe bomb."

"I want to know why my best friend died afraid." Jenna's eyes snapped up at that.

"Alright. John wanted out at least out of guns wanted the club to go legit."

"I'm aware. He mentioned it."

"So he set a meeting with Kellan Ashby and the Irish. He never made it that far he died three days before and he had suspicions that Clay and possibly Gemma were trying to off him. He failed twice by John's calculations before succeeding. The letters make it obvious dad."

"Well you were right. pipe bomb." Pineys sighed

"That's not even bringing up the fact that John knew Clay was fucking Gemma then. Hell Gemma told me she stopped even trying to hide it."

Piney stays silent. "Read them but be careful. You play you're cards wrong with Clay and we're both dead and you know it."

"He won't touch either of us I have it all planned."

"Alright." Jenna transferred to sit on the bed and watched Pretty Woman on lifetime while Piney read and Arie played in the leaden death trap of a crib.

-/-/-/-

Jenna lay curled on the foot of his bed as he reads the letters. When her phone rings out Jax's tone. He answers before she can wake.

"She's sleeping Jackson. Can I help?" Piney asks.

"Don't wake her up, I was just checking on Zona."

"Sleeping too. Except she's snoring Jenny's not. Its very cute."

Jax smiles on the other end. "You just said the word cute."

"Its my granddaughter shut the hell up. How'd the run go?"

"We're in it deep old man. This is heavy shit, but it went fine. Kiss my girls for me?"

"Yeah. Be safe."

"Feel better old man see you tomorrow."

"Night son."


	5. Episodes 5 & 6: The Answers You Don't Have

AN: Everything happens just as does in the show I just don't show everything. Trey and Paige are Opie's kids in this story verse. Also Paige is older than Ellie.

I own nothing but my characters

Enjoy and review.

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Jenna hears the bike outside but doesn't say anything to Abel. She decides to llet Jax surprise him.

She holds up a pegboard puzzle piece. "Does it go here Bubba Man?"

She tries to stick the tractor into the plane slot.

"No! Goofy Mama." Abel says as the door opens and Jax steps through. "Daddy!" Abel's on his feet and running before Jax can fully close the door.

"Hi buddy." Jax scoops him up. "I missed you."

"He missed you." Jenna nods to Abel.

"Yeah, how bout you and Prissy butt?"

"Always but you better watch it she don't like being called Prissy." He leaned down and kissed her and tossed his back pack into her lap. He set Abel on his feet and picked up Arizona from where she lay on her belly.

"I brought souvenirs." just as he says it a gray blue kitten pops his had out of the open bag.

Jenna startles. "That ones Abe's and Arie's." Jax smirks. Jenna takes the kitten out as Abel comes over. "The pet store…" Jenna murmurs.

Jax shrugs. "He was cute and all alone. Thought Abel would like him. I named him Fred."

"Kitty." Abel says eyes big as saucers. He reaches out a tentative hand.

"You can pet him little man." Jax says

Jax sits in the floor opposite Jenna and Abel sitting Arie his lap. "Yours is in there too Darlin' keep diggin'." Abe, holds the Kitten around the middle and carried it over to Arie. He dropped into her lap. Fred landed on his feet. "See Air-wee?"

"Holy fuck!" Jenna said pulling out bricks of cash.

"Fuck." Abel repeated Jax smiled. "Don't say fuck bud." He herded the cat back into his lap as Arie tried to decide whether or not Fred was friendly.

"I thought you'd like that and its only the first payment."

"Some payment…I'm a lil terrified but I like quick money."

Jax nods. "Put it in the safety deposit."

"Indy Winston appreciates your donation. What? Daddy didn't raise a dummy darlin'. Nothing important goes in your given name, oldest rule in the book besides don't talk to the cops." Jenna grinned at him

Jax kisses the top of Arie's head. "And you dated one of those so forgive me if I'm nervous baby."

"Two words for you Jackson."

"Love you…ohh I know fuck me?"

"Close…Screw you!" Jax laughed.

"What's the doc say about Zona?"

"We can wait to operate till she's four if all goes well."

"Good. I have a date planned for us. You game?" he turns the baby and lets her stand on his lap. "Oh look at whose standin' like a big girl."

"What you got planned? Be careful with Fred Abel Jackson, he needs his head don't hold him like that." Abel had the cat in a chokehold before Jenna rescued him.

"It's a surprise, thought we could take Abel he'll like it. She's gonna walk soon babe."

"Really…Jackson…" Jenna says in the tone that lets Jax know she's skeptical of his judgment.

"Trust me. I hope I'm here when she does it I missed Abel's not a good feeling."

"You won't miss it."

-/-/-/-

They are starting church when Jenna bursts in.

"Paige has a girl emergency. Alia took Abel to the park and its to hot for Arie I need you to watch her for twenty minutes tops Jax."

"We don't have kids in church you know that Jen." Clay griped.

"She's a baby Clay, She'll sit by Jackson and play with her toy keys not spy for the feds." Jenna says with dry sarcasm.

"Wait! What kind of girl emergency?" Opie asked as Jax stood and leaned over the table to take the baby.

"She got her period."

Every man in the room groaned. "Well you asked."

"Why not call Lyla?" Opie asked.

"You know she had her English presentation today? Well that white skirt you hate because its so short, she was wearing it. Now, if you'd already been publicly humiliated would you call your porn star step mama to fix it? No, Paige was afraid she'd show up as dirty school girl number three or something."

Opie fished a twenty from his pocket. "For ice cream."

"You're a good Dad bubba. Remember that." Jenna grinned taking the cash.

Jenna left and Jax looked skeptically to the floor. The I don't want to put my child down in here evident on his face.

"I made the prospects mop its clean." Juice told him.

Opie having grabbed her blanket and toys from Jenna helped Jax fix a pallet by his chair. "Stay." Jax said after sitting her down.

"Dude she's not a dog." Opie said.

Once the meeting was back under way. "So Otto requested a meeting." Jax said. No one noticed Arizona pull up on Jax's chair to stand.

"Something about new info on Luann's case…" she started walking toward Juice on shaky legs. "I'll go." Bobby says. Juice hears a grunt and looks down too see Arizona moving around his chair to get to Piney.

"Divvy up the shares-" "Jax look!" Juice interrupted Clay. Arizona free of the chair was making what amounted to a run for Piney.

"Zona!" She froze looking back at Jax. "Go! Its okay, you got it! Where's my phone. I gotta call Jenna." She reached Piney who scooped her up.

"Look! Who's a big girl?" she grinned at Piney.

"Dad put her down lets see if she'll come to me?" Opie said scooting his chair out from the table. Clay rolled his eyes behind his sun glasses.

She laughs and trucks toward Opie. "You got it down, don'tcha?" Opie kisses her cheek. "Go get Daddy." Jax moves around the table to Clay's other side and squats down in Arizona's sight line. "Just a few more feet. Please for Daddy?" she runs right into Jax's arms. "Such a big girl, Do this again when Mama gets back 'kay?"

"All of you turn to complete mush over a baby." Clay griped half heartedly but took her when she reached for him. "That was a little cute I don't think anyone's taken their first steps in here."

They finished the meeting with Arizona trying to smash Clay's hand with the gavel.

"You only wanted me for my gavel, typical teller woman." Clay kissed her and handed her off to Jax.

Jax picks up the baby and scowls when Piney tells him to close the door behind him.

-/-/-/-

"I heard I missed baby girl's first steps." Gemma murmured as Clay strode toward her.

"It seems Jen thinks sharing is caring." Clay slammed the door Arizona flinched in the play pen. "She let the old man read those letters you said not to worry about."

"What? Calm down you're scaring the baby."

"He said if I didn't kill the Cartel deal he's going to tell the club what's in those letters. This is bad for us, the old man has contingencies…I can't fix it. If Jax finds out I had John killed while bedding his wife. I'm dead. He'll rip my junk off and stick on a spike in front of TM."

"It could be nothing. Piney's making shit up."

"He's not, he knew details only John and I knew. You and I both know that girl's going to tell Jax."

"Maybe not. She hasn't yet, went to her Daddy first to figure shit out. Why didn't I see that!" Gemma chewed her thumb nail

"You think she's harmless. She's not she hates me for the Donna mistake."

"Promise me you won't do anything rash. You'll let me find the letters first. You're talking about the cofounder of this club and his only daughter. Jax's wife and mother of our grandchild. You go after either of them especially her Jax will kill you and leave Opie to pick your bones. So promise me? Nothing rash…nothing."

"I promise."

"She's already on to me sniffing around, I know she keeps them at TM."

"I'll look."

-/-/-/-

Clay finds them in the bottom of her locker. "Copies…Shit." he reads them and burns them before Gemma can read them.

He lays the burns scraps onto the table before Gemma.

"Just love letters is all baby." he says. "Why've we got baby girl?" he asks Gemma whose holding Arie clad in her footsie pajamas.

"Jackson took Jenny and Abel to see the sing a long version of The Wizard Of Oz."

"Christ." Clay muttered.

"He loves her…makes you do stupid shit." Gemma said grinning.

"Say Grandma! Grandma!" She says to Arie.

-/-/-/-

Other than dealing with Georgie's pervy ass and Arie's flat out refusal to walk for Jenna. Jax thinks its been a great day.

Jax looks over at Jenna in the darkened theater. Flashes from the screen lighting her features. As she sings along with the cowardly lion whispering lyrics into Abel's ear.

He's never once questioned his love for her but feels it so keenly now.

He leans over and whispers into her ear. "I love you." She looks at him a little oddly.

He loves her because this old classic makes her cry, he loves her because she's wearing red heels with her black dress, because she sings as though she's praying, because her sun rises and sets on him, because she smiles like her children are the reason the world spins on.

"I know." She says. He loves her because she knows she's loved. "I love you too." Still he loves to hear that.

-/-/-/-

Jax beats Jenna to work for once. She sees Ima's car as pulls in she doesn't ask questions of anyone. Instead She goes and sits by the clubhouse door and very calmly sits her gun in her lap and waits.

She raises her gun and points it at Jax. "Baby what the fuck are you doin'?"

"Think real careful before you answer me Jax. You fuck her? And don't say who I saw the whore stroll on in."

"Shit! No I didn't okay." She lowers the gun.

"Where's Ope," Jax just looked at her.

"Fuck! Why?"

"Not sure, lets wait and see."

-/-/-/-

Ima comes out next. Jenna raises the gun and clicks off the safety. He points at the center of Ima's chest. "Shit baby!" Jax curses.

"Hush Jax." Jenna says lowly.

"I didn't fuck your husband I swear I didn't." Ima rambled.

Jenna lowered the gun to Ima's feet. "Remember what I said last time we met?"

"You'd kill me if I-" Jenna turned the gun side ways and let off a one handed shot at the gravel between her feet. Ima squealed and hop skipped out of her way.

Jax laughed "Do it again."

"Jax!" Ima squeaked.

"Oh shut up herpes Barbie I wanna hit you I will."

"Now as it turns out I have a new rule for you too follow. You are to stay away from all of SAMCRO's married men. You don't and my aim is going to get deadly. You dig me cum queen?" Jenna's eyebrows wing up.

"Yes,"

"Good maybe you value living more than you do friendship. You just plain don't have any morals do you Ima? Lyla's supposedly you're friend. I'm tempted to enlighten her but unlike you I actually care if my actions hurt others. Get off this lot before my trigger finger gets itchy." Ima scurries off.

"That was so fucking hot." Jax murmurs. Jenna rolls her eyes. "If I wasn't so worried about Ope right now I'd-" Opie walks out cutting him off.

"Damn it you fucking told on me?" Opie complained gesturing to Jenna.

"Nah I found her waiting on Ima for target practice. It was really sexy in a terrifying kinda way."

"Whatever. Just don't tell anyone." Opie walks off.

"Oh no you don't man, what the fuck was that!" Jax leaves the picnic table bench where he was sitting next to a still silent Jenna.

"You've got a family man, kids a new wife. Getting your dick sucked by a crow eater is one thing but fucking that bat shit crazy skank-"

"Worked for you didn't it." Opie saw Jenna flinch over Jax's shoulder. "Sorry." he said and Jenna shrugged.

"I found birth control morning after pills. All that time trying to get her pregnant and she's killed it off at every turn."

"Did you know?" he directed at Jenna.

"She's not Donna. We aren't those kinds of friends. She doesn't want that and frankly it still hurts so I…"

"That's the whole problem ain't it." he walks over and sits down as does Jax.

"I keep trying to make shit fit and it just doesn't I miss… I miss Donna. Would you stop fucking looking at me like that Jen? Like you don't know who the fuck I am! I've tried it all the ways I know how sober, drunk, alone, married and shit…" he pitched a paper cup across the lot and got up striding away.

Before Jax can stop her Jenna's following. "Wait Ope! Damn it Harry I said wait!" Jenna yelled.

He whips around. "What? You gonna save mom a trip and guilt me yourself?" She hugs him around the waist and that brings him up short.

He squats down and hugs her back tightly. "When Jax married Wendy you remember what you told me?" Jenna hears Jax inhale at that.

"Back away from the hair dye?" Opie joked half heartedly.

Jenna smiled "After that."

"If there's I want to beat you with a stick ice cream send it to Jax."

"Hey!" Jax protested.

Jenna laughed. "Before that. You said it might not ever be the same but it could still hold weight and mean something. That it would take time and I had to let him go because he wasn't going to come after me. He just couldn't."

"But it never got better and no one replaced him did they Jen?"

"Because I wouldn't let it. You have to let go because she's not coming back Ope, and I'm so sorry for it that I can't even begin to tell you. You can't replace her I know that, but you can still find something worth it even if its not with Lyla it will happen when you're ready to let it."

He squeezed her once more and kissed her temple. "Thanks for spitting my advice back at me." He gave her a half grin.

"Anytime." He stood to his full height and walked away.

"You didn't really want to beat me with a stick did you?" Jax asked handing her his coffee cup. She took a sip.

"Only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays." She teased.

He grinned "And the others?"

"I dreamt up al the ways I could eviscerate her." he took a sip of his coffee and set it down.

"You're crazy but its fucking hot," He leaned down and kissed her.

"You open the shop yet?"

"No. Why?" Jenna eyebrows drew together.

"Come with me." He stepped around her and wheeled her toward the office.

"Jax we can't there are people around."

"You're exhibitionist remember."

-/-/-/-

Jax presses his weight down into her on the old leather of the couch. She sighs beneath him. She stretches up toward him. He breathes against the pulse point in her neck. Nipping at the skin in a little biting kiss. The couch creaks with their weight and movement.

Neither one hear the doorknob jiggle. "Whoa Jackie boy, we're rolling out show alverez the operation." Chibs says.

"Shit!" Jax curses.

"I'll give you five to uh…finish up."

Jenna snickers. "Thanks Chibs."

"Anytime love, continue on…and lock it next time." he hears them laugh behind the closed door.

-/-/-/-

"Mom why do you have Arie?" Jenna said rolling toward Gemma.

"Alia made a store run with Lil' man and left me baby girl…why you look so pissed?"

"Nookie got interrupted by club business…" She saw Ima's car.

"What the fuck is the bitch still doing here? She's like herpes mom soon as you think you got her kicked she comes back with a vengeance." Jenna rolled toward the clubhouse "What do you mean still here?"

"Opie fucked-" the sentence is halfway out her mouth when she sees Lyla. She's distracted from speaking further when a cab pulls up and out steps Dawn Trager.

"Run Trayger." Jenna said.

"Jen you really gonna let something as little as me fucking Sunshine ruin our reunion?"

"Fuck you. What the fuck you want? My husband is not an option either."

"Let's see what she wants baby. Be nice."

"This is me being nice. I said I'd rip her hair out on sight next time I saw her."

"Don't kill her over Sunshine baby, Tig's crazier than you.""Its not about Deacon, it's the fucking principal- Where's Lyla? Shit!" Jenna took off toward the club."

-/-/-/-/-

"You backstabbing gash why him?" Jenna rolled in Gemma right behind her.

"Bitch you just don't know when to quit do you? You must be like the stupidest whore on the planet that's saying something, I know tons of whores." Jenna said nodding at Ima.

"Why him?" Lyla asks again.

"I didn't do anything he didn't want. I was just following his lead Lyla. Married pussy is boring pussy." Lyla clenched her fist and Ima pulled a thirty-eight revolver from her purse.

"Stop right there or I'll blow a whole right through your chest." Ima said waving the gun about.

"Would you stop? That's a weapon not a limp dick whore. Mom take Arie outside." Jenna said and pulled her gun. "Target practice is over bitch. You've got five seconds before I pull the trigger and I will not miss or aim at your feet this time am I clear? Five…four…three…" Ima ran.

"Bitch has a brain after all what a shame." Jenna smirked.

"Dad call Opie to clean up his fucking mess."

-/-/-/-

Jenna leans back onto the clubhouse wall and watches Gemma light into Opie.

Her Dad rears back and decks Opie knocking him off his feet.

"You're dick nearly got people killed. Crazy nasty bitch pointed a gun at your wife, ten month old niece and baby sister. I don't even know you." Piney walks away.

"Come on I'll clean you up." Jenna called to him.

-/-/-/-

Jenna wiped peroxide on the cuts with a gauze. She whistled lowly.

"He got you good."

"You think I deserved it." Opie says more as a statement than question.

"One hundred percent. The question is do you think you deserved it?" She blew air onto a tiny cut when flinched. "Sorry…"

"I thought you weren't mad at me?"

"Disappointment is different Harry. You aren't the guy who cheats and you know it." She kissed his cheek. "That'll need ice."

"You kissed my boo boo Jen." Opie laughed.

Jenna grinned. "Maternal instinct spill over. Bite me."

-/-/-/-

Jenna stole Piney's Patrone off the bar and went outside. Lyla walked over.

"Did you know?"

"Jesus what is this corner and interrogate Jen day?" she took a swig of the tequila "Not until today." she passed Lyla the bottle.

"Would you have told me? "

"No." Lyla stared at her. "It hurts when you know your man's fucking around on you. The lie? Its easier. I was going to lie out of love not out of loyalty to Ope."

"Jen you don't drink often. Is this? Are you okay?"

"My Dad hit my brother. Not just a little tap full on belted him. Dad's not like that, not anymore . So I think today of all days Lyla I deserve a goddamn drink." Lyla nodded and walked off.

Jenna was half asleep leaning on the clubhouse wall when Ope and Jax came out.

"Where is she ?" Opie asked his body making a temporary shadow over her. Jenna pointed up indicating the clubhouse roof top.

Jax looked at Jenna. "You know I didn't sleep with her right? You trust it?"

Jenna opened her eyes and looked over at him. "I'm trying too. Trust you. Believe you. I do believe you. Its just…its my shit…Jax not-"

"I love you Jennasis." He said.

"I know that, but this it woke me up to some stuff. That bitch is like cancer she eats through everything thing she touches. I'd follow you to the ends of the fucking universe Jax but…Opie's in pain that's why he did it I get that but you did it because shutting me out was easier than letting me in. I can do anything you ask me anything but become my parents. I won't have Arie and Abel sitting on the stairs waiting for you to come home and give a fuck. You fuck around you hurt more than me. That I will not stand for is that clear?"

"Yeah." He leaned forward and kissed her. "Gotta head back to the warehouse."

"Alright. Be careful please."

"I will."

"Hey Jackson,"

"Yeah baby."

"I love you."

"I love you too babe."

-/-/-/-

Jenna rolled into the office just as Gemma was typing something up. She minimized it before Jenna could see it.

"I'm gonna work on my bike since the shop is slow." Jenna said set Arizona in the play pen.

-/-/-/-

Jenna hears Opie before she sees him. He stomps up behind her. She's removing the belt drive cover on the bike he reaches over and takes it from her.

"I had it." She complained.

"You always do. Its heavy let me help."

"So?" Jenna asked feeling a little awkward. They told each other everything but she'd never been here with him before.

"Can you take the kids? I'll call Ma but-"

"I got 'em Ope."

"She had an abortion. It was mine."

"Ope…" She said softly.

"Don't wanna talk about. Good to see the bike back out."

"About that, I'd like to give it to Paige for her birthday. She's turning fifteen…that was a big year for me." She smiled wistfully.

"I think it will be for her too. I want her too have it,"

"Its our project."

"It was. I can't ride anymore Ope. It should be used and enjoyed. Work on it with her. Teach her to love a good engine. Like Dad taught me with the Camaro."

She smiled. "I miss that car."

"Alright if that's how you want it."

-/-/-/-

Jax walked into the house. "Smells good." he walked over and dropped a kiss on her shoulder.

"Sloppy Joe night."

"Aunt Jenny what's the square root of fifty four." Paige asked. She was immersed in math homework at the kitchen table.

"Not a clue ask your Uncle Jax."

"Frick," Jax nodded at Paige.

"Hey, we're staying with you…Daddy's having some weird ass lover's spat with Lyla."

"I think the answer is nine Darlin' where's Frack?" He said referring to trey.

"Playing cars with Abey." Paige answered.

"Can you get Arie Jaxy. She's probably awake by now." Jenna asked stirring the sloppy joe meat.

"Sure thing baby." Jenna noticed a cut on his hand. "How you get that?"

"Took care of someone who forgot their place its nothing." Arie squawked at them through the monitor.

"Daddy's comin' sweet Zona." Jax called out.

-/-/-/-

Jenna's world is rarely normal but Jax sitting with Arizona in his lap as he helps Paige with her homework and the boys sound effects from their game drifting into her ear as she cooks is just that. It feels nice. Like an old comfort she hadn't found for a while. Its nice to have it back.

Jax winks at her over Paige's shoulder. She grins back at him.


	6. Episodes 7 & 8: The World Spins Madly On

Jenna sent Paige out to put Arie's car seat back in the truck.

"Yeah Ma, I know but-" Jenna talks with the phone cradled on her shoulder. She fastened Arie's diaper and fixed her skirt back. She looked up just as Paige walked back in carrying a piece of paper in her hand and looking pale. She hands it to Jenna with a trembling hand "Paigey poo, alright Ma hang on." she reads the typed letter.

"I'm going to torture you and then kill while he watches you crippled bitch."

It reads and Jenna's blood runs cold. "Mama any clue where Daddy is? I need him its an emergency." She says with a shaky calmness.

"What's wrong Jenny?"

"Paige just found a death threat in my car."

"What?"

"I'm going to torture you then kill you while he watches you crippled bitch if that doesn't sound club related I don't know what does."

"Call Jax right now Jennasis." Ann commands.

"Okay Ma I will please don't freak out."

"Someone threatens to kill your child and see how you react then tell me not to freak out."

"I see your point."

Jenna called Jax but he was busy with Cartel dealings and couldn't get to her quick enough. Though Gemma, Opie, and Chibs showed up within minutes.

"Who would be threatening me Jackson?" Gemma walked in and eyed Jennasis, she'd sent the note to back Clay off of whatever he might do and protect Jenny at the same time.

Gemma's surprised and proud of how calm the girl is.

"Yeah I will baby…alright see you there I love you." She hung up.

She turned to Opie. "I have to go see Dad before we head to the clubhouse."

"Jen-"

"I need to talk to Dad Ope. I'm going with or without you." She said firmly.

"Okay fine."

-/-/-/-

Jenna rolls in and smacks the letter down on the coffee table before Piney.

"Fix this! You said I was safe, you promised Daddy and he's fucking threatening to kill me and letting my niece find the goddamn note!" Jenna yells.

"What?" he picks up the note and reads it. Anger flared in his eyes.

"I just might kill him for this…" Piney said.

"You mean if he doesn't kill us first." She points out.

"You hid the letters?" She nods and chews her bottom lip thoughtfully.

"They're some place Clay will never find them, if something….if something happens to me I'm going to leave Jax a clue so he'll find them."

"Good girl. He's going to blame this on Cartel wars. Let him for now but watch your back just the same you hear me?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. I'm going to stay here. You get your butt to the compound and keep it there. Have Ope, take the kids to your mother."

"I can-" She tries to protest.

"Jenny further away is safer."

"Yeah alright."

-/-/-/-

When Jenna arrives at the clubhouse Tara's pulling a bullet from Marcus Alverez's shoulder.

Jenna set and played cards with Paige. "Look Mama!" Abel called. She looked over to see Abel pointing to the door where Jax stood. "Daddy!"

"Hey baby!" She smiled at him he stepped over Arizona and leaned down to kiss her.

"Please play with him if you have a minute he's been wanting you all day."

"You doin' okay?" he picked Abel up.

"What's one minor death threat?" Jenna teased.

"I'm serious honey." Jax scowls. "So, am I babe, I'm fine no one fucks with a Winston and lives to tell about it. We'll find them, but until we do go play with Abey baby."

"Wing." Abel says.

"Yeah baby take him to wing." She encourages with a grin.

"What's Wing?" Jax asked clearly confused.

Jenna laughed. "He wants to go swing Jackson."

-/-/-/-

Jenna sits and watches Jax push Abel in the swing seat as Opie holds Arie.

"So what are we up against here?" she looks to opie squinting at the sunlight to see him.

"Nothing good sis, looks like turf war between Cartels and…"

"We're next on the list they got the mayans so that leaves us right?" She asks.

"In theory yes," Jax said giving Abel a push. "To Da' skies!" Abel yells.

"In theory or in fact babe?"

"There's more than one sky? And are you really gonna make me say it?"

"According to our son there is and yes totally so spit some truth here please." She crosses her arms.

"I'll always tell you the truth baby but I just I'm not sure what that is yet. Give me some wiggle room here Jenna."

"Alright. I get it stop puppy dog eying me its fuckin' weird. Ope, Dad thinks with all the threats flying the kids would be safer with Ma."

"What you think?"

"I hate to say it but he might be right."

Juice strode by wordlessly. "Juicy…" Jenna called.

"Later Mama."

Jenna scowled. "What's his deal?"

"He's tripped up over the shit with Miles, He needs to get a damn grip." Opie said.

"We both know that's not as easy as it sounds.

"Meeting!" Clay called.

They all went in. Jenna sat by the door to eavesdrop.

"Jennasis Teller! Stop that!" Gemma whisper griped.

"Whatever, like aren't doing the same damn-Oh shit did Bobby just say officer challenge? What does that even…oh fuck-"

"Shh Jenny!" Gemma admonished.

The club dispersed and the women tried to look busy.

Jenna followed Jax out. "Babe what does that mean are you pres now?"

"Bobby made the challenge so he'll take the spot at least in the interim."

"Jax he can't run a goddamn club. He needs help squeezing into his fucking elvis suit!" She points blindly toward Bobby

Jax laughed. "You just sounded so much like my mother its scary."

"Stop smirking damn you! Its not fucking funny. Excuse me if I'd rather not leave my father's legacy in the hands of Bobby Munson."

"Preach baby," Jax leaned down to kiss her. She kissed him. " Gotta talk to your mom load the spawn and we'll head home?"

"Sure baby."

"Juice me and you lunch tomorrow? Jax will let me off lockdown if I'm with you." Jenna said as she passed him as he left.

"You bet." He kissed her cheek. He paused a second. "Love you Jen,"

She scowled feeling a little alarmed. "I love you too Juice."

She finds Clay in the chapel and she closes the door behind her. "I know that threat came from you."

Clay looks up. "Don't bother trying to deny it, let the others think whatever you want but just a word of advice." She cocked her head and narrowed her eyes. "Be damn sure you can kill me. I am a Winston and you will die at the hand of someone I love if you screw up. So be careful, " she said calmly. "Uncle Clay." she added hate dripping from the words.

She turned and left.

-/-/-/-

Jenna's organizing her invoices the next morning when bullets spray the compound Gemma dives for the floor taking Jenna with her.

They only breathe and wait. They hear return fire then silence.

"Jenna! Where are you? Jenna!" Jax bursts in

"We're fine son." Gemma says and move to get up.

All of them are clustered around something when Jenna comes out of the office. Jax intercepts her. "Trust me baby, you don't wanna look."

"What is it Jax? I've seen a lot of-" She asks trying to ook around him.

"Heads baby." Jax says lowly.

Her face screwed up in disgust. "Two things, one ewww, two they sent us heads Jackson? Human heads?" She clarified.

"We're all going to end up dead. Because Clay's a greedy mother fucker or in jail because the whole block is awake now." Jenna murmured heading back toward the office.

"Jenny, you still singing for the fundraiser?" Clay asked. As she came back in.

"I can, let the Merriweather girl go on first. I'll need to warm up."

"No need we're canceling it." Jax said.

"The town needs this, and we need for Charming to know it still matters to SoA." Clay griped.

"With all heads suddenly missing their bobble and all the target practice going on it can't hurt. Gem and I can cover it easy." Jenna adds.

"You're just singing then head to the cabin and stick with the old man." Jax relents.

"Try not to miss it."

"I won't."

"Any requests?"

"The story." Opie says appearing in the door. "Dad's acting funny, said sorry for decking me. I bet if you go ask him he'll buy you something."

"Daddy! Can we go get ice cream?" Jenna shouted "Bye baby." She kissed Jax's cheek and went to find Piney.

"Nice to see some things never change." Gemma said laughing.

-/-/-/-

"Jenny, watch your back I gave Clay a deadline with the letters."

Jenna smirked scooping up a bite of chocolate ice cream and feeding it to Arie. "I don't imagine he took that too well, oh look at her face!" Arie's eyes were big as saucers but she smiled.

"Is it cold Arie Dawn…" Piney chuckled "No ma'am he did not."

"Are you scared?" She asked. Piney watched Abel eat his ice cream cone.

"Not for myself Darlin'"

\- /-/-/-

Jax is at the warehouse when his phone rings. "Yeah Mama!"

"Just thought you'd wanna hear this…" He hears the speaker click on.

"All of these lines across my face…" turns on his speaker. "Tell the story of who I am and I how got to where I am." Opie wonders over to stand by him.

She sings the second verse as Juice comes over.

She kicks in at the chorus with "I climbed across the mountain tops swam all across the ocean blue. I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules but baby I broke them all for you, oh because even when I was flat broke you made me feel like a million bucks you do and I was made for you."

"Damn who the hell is that?" Alaverez asked.

"My wife."

She goes into the third verse and fourth verse then the final chorus. They hear Piney whistle and she hit's the final note and Jax feels the hair on the back of his neck stand.

"Wow. That was like rock and roll meets Opera or something she showing off?" Alverez's second in command asks. "She's not trained if that's what you mean." Jax said.

"As my mother says the girl opens her mouth and god comes out." Opie said

"I very rarely agree with my mother but this time she's right."

-/-/-/-

"I don't care about history!" Jax shouts as Jenna rolls through the back door of the cabin. "All I care about is my family! My children! My wife, you're daughter. You remember what you made me promise when I asked you all those years if could marry her? Do you?" Jax gestures around him.

"You said promise me you'll keep her safe and take care of her heart because she's given it to you. I believe that's damn near verbatim Piney. I'm doing what I have too to survive one day to the next so I can do that! Don't look down on how I do it."

"Uh wife and child present." Jenna says rolling into the living room

They ignore her.

"You have no idea how much you sound like him.

Jax sighs. "John Teller was the best friend I ever had and the best man I ever knew," Jenna's eyes fill with tears. "Before you bury him, you might wanna know who he was." Jax nudges Piney's arm and walks past him with a sad little grin.

He kisses Jenna. "I'll be back for you in a bit." She nods.

-/-/-/-

"Daddy tequila and fried chicken clash don't they?" hears as he walks in.

"Hush nothing clashes with tequila. Pass the mashed potatoes." Piney grumbles Jax sits down fixing himself a plate.

"What's with the "Oh Shit!" face Jackson?" Jenna asked.

"Without going into details, we're in way over our heads here Jennasis." He picks at his green beans.

"How do you mean?" she sipped her soda.

Piney eyes him waiting for answer too. "Lobo Senore offed some SAMTAZ and Mayan members and dumped them at the warehouse baby."

"Whoa Jax what-"

"I want you to get the fuck out of dodge."

"No! I don't run!" Jenna dropped her fork it hit the plate with a clang.

"Baby I-" Jax says exasperated.

"No don't you go babying me now. I've handled everything this life has thrown at me and done so with as much grace as I could. I will not run! That's what they want Jackson!"

"Help me out here Old Man."

"Nah, don't think so she's as hard headed as I am boy. It was stupid to even bring up ' cause no matter how much you yell and bitch and moan she aint movin'."

"Try cryin'." Piney finished as Jax rolled his eyes.

-/-/-/-

After dinner they are about to leave when Piney catches Jenna coming around the table. Jax pauses in dumping Abel's plate to look up and see Piney pulling Jenna into his lap.

-/-/-/-

He's hugging her tightly and Jenna's on the verge of freak out. "Daddy, what?" She hugs him back.

"I love you Jennasis."

"Love you too Dad."

"I'm proud of you and I know you're tough but if you get scared run you hear me?"

"Dad-"

"Listen to me." he whispers. "Have a back up plan and run if you need too is that clear?"

"Yes sir."

"Good." He kissed her forehead. "I love you my girl." some part of Jenna feels like this is some kind of goodbye.

"I know." He nods. "Get outta here kid. Take your family home."

-/-/-/-

"Listen baby, I'm gonna go check on Daddy. He's not answering up at the cabin tell you're Mama I'll be in to change the brakes on the Lerner's car later." She kissed Jax.

"You're worried for nothing Jenna, he's probably just drunk." Jax smiled at her and leaned in to kiss her again.

"Better safe than sorry. I love you, you got the babies?"

"Got em' Darlin' love you too. Take rat boy."

-/-/-/-

Jenna rolls up to the old stone cabin. "You can stay out here Rat its just my Daddy not an axe murder."

At first when Jenna rolls up she doesn't see the door broken. She gets closer and sees it. She pulls her gun clicking the safety off. She can hear the white noise popping sound of Piney's record player skipping. "Daddy?" she shoves open the door and sees him slumped over.

"Ahh!" She gives a startled cry. "Oh No!" she's sobbing as she releases her seat belt and falls forward on to the hardwood floor. She belly craws toward him. "It's okay Daddy, I'll fix it okay." She touches his face and its cold.

She shakes her head sobbing. "No, No, No," She pushes her self into a sitting position and pulls his head into her lap. She runs her fingers through the graying red curls on his head, the ones so much like hers.

"What do I do Daddy?" She picks up her phone and dials Gemma. Sobbing so hard she can barely breathe. "Daddy's dead, My Daddy's dead."

"What baby?"

"Daddy's dead Gemma!"

"I'm on my way baby just stay there okay? You hear me Jenny?"

"Jax…" Jenna cries pitifully.

"I'm getting him baby."

-/-/-/-

Jax is praying by some miracle Jenna's wrong. He flies toward the cabin with his mother riding behind him.

When he arrives what he sees has his stomach twisting and tennis ball sized lump of tears forming in his throat.

There is no miracle and Jenna's not wrong. Whoever killed the old man did it up close and personal. Buck shot to the heart is a harsh way to die. One Piney for all his faults didn't deserve. Tears fill his eyes but don't fall down until he's sees his wife looking so small and broken, playing with the old man's hair crying and murmuring non sense to him.

He walks over and goes to pick her up. "Jackson." seeing him seems to knock her from her reverie "Someone shot him." She says numbly.

"I know." He goes to lift her from the floor. "I can't leave him."

Gemma grabs her face catching her eye. "I'll stay with him."

"Harry and Mama they need-"

"I'm on it."

Jax picks her up an carries her outside. Whatever little control she had melts then. She sobs harshly in his arms. He slides down the stone wall and sits on the porch. He can't fix this so he holds her and lets her cry.

-/-/-/-

AN: Usual disclaimer applies. I used Sara Ramirez version of the story I do not own it Brandi Carlisle did the original she own it. You can find both versions on you tube but please listen to Sara Ramirez's version since that's how I hear Jenna sounding.


	7. Episode 9: Tears

Jax is vaguely aware of Unser showing up and his mother whispering to him as Jenna sobs inconsolably occasionally the noisy deep broken sobs are punctuated by words and nonsensical sentences.

He makes out "Opie!" in a pleading wail beneath snot filled breaths.

"Breathe Darlin' just breathe my Jenna." he rubs her back.

"My fault…all my fault." that brings him up short before he realizes she's not thinking clearly. "No baby…its not." she shakes her head cheek brushing the leather of his cut. He cups her chin forcing her blue-green gaze to meet his eyes.

"Did you pull the trigger Jennasis?" he asks holding her gaze.

"No." She murmurs.

"Then you did nothing wrong." He brushes the hair out of her eyes.

-/-/-/-

Opie roars up on his bike so fast it scares even Jax. He runs up when he sees who exactly is cradled in Jax's arms he stops entirely and turns and sits Indian style next to Jax. He doesn't cry but it's just there on the edge Jax can feel it. See it.

Opie reaches over and play's with Jenna's delicate hand. Toying with her long pianist fingers. If you didn't know Opie you'd mistake the affection for something out of place and odd. Just this side of inappropriate.

But he knows Opie and understands the tiny bit of connection keeps him grounded.

Jenna's adrenaline rush from crying is making her lethargic and she's very nearly asleep. Ann peels tires squealing into the driveway. She bails out and runs blindly concerned with only Piney. She gets in the door way and lets out the most agonized scream Jax has ever heard from her.

Jenna flinches in his arms and burrows deeper into him. Opie scowls and taps Jenna's leg where he knows she has feeling. "Be back."

He goes to Ann and hugs her it strikes Jax as odd. He can't remember Opie ever being affectionate with his mother only Jenna. He walks over to them half holding Ann up. Ann reigns in her tears to bark an order at Jax.

"Get my baby up off the floor." before he can Jenna grabs Ann's wrist and pulls her down.

"I found him." Jenna says with an eerie calm. Unshed tears glaze Opie's eyes. Ann kisses her forehead. "I tried Mama I tried but I was too late." Jenna's voice wobbles just a bit.

"Shh baby," she brushes a lock of hair behind Jenna's ear. "It's okay Jenny. This is who he was he went out for his club, how he wanted."

"We'll need to wash his cut."

"I know." Jax phone rings. "What? I'm busy! Somebody shot Piney Chibs, my wife is my goddamn only concern. Alright I'm on my way."

"Baby, I wouldn't leave you but there's a problem with the Cartel and the Niners. I need to fix it." She nods. "Okay."

"I'm going with you." Opie says startling Jax.

"Man I-" Jax starts.

"I'm going with you." he repeats himself stoically.

-/-/-/-

Jenna lay on the bed in the clubhouse apartment staring at the flag pinned to the ceiling. In its own way that flag had been party to the birth of SAMCRO.

She knows she was her father's back up plan. She felt she needed one of her own now.

Who to tell?

Gemma walks in uninvited. "I know you have the letters."

"So." Jenna replies dryly..

"Why haven't you told Jackson?"

"That's simple I love him and knowing that you the person he trusts with his everything had his father killed for greed and a good lay would kill him."

"You don't understand, Clay brought me back to life."

"I don't care to understand Gemma. Clay might of helped you but my Daddy he saved me from…everything when shit got bad and now he's dead and we both know why so fuck you and your self righteous excuse." She said spitefully.

"You gonna let him kill me too Gemma?"

"I would never…I love you like my own child."

Jenna laughed and transferred back into her chair. "I suppose you do, after my Dad's dead too now." She left Gemma to her own thoughts.

-/-/-/-

The clubhouse was quiet each man dealing with the Cartel or Piney's death in their own way. Jenna rolled toward Juice. "You owe me lunch and an explanation don't bother fighting me you'll lose." She tiredly.

"An explanation for what?" Jenna reached up and hooked her fingers into Juice's collar yanking him down. She pushed her thumb across the nasty bruise ringing his neck. "That." Jenna says never taking her eyes from Juice's.

"Jen, its nothing it was just a stupid mistake." Juice said his voice bordering on frantic

"Two things you need to know Juan Carlos, I don't like liars and I hate bullshit so you'd be wise to just tell me the truth." She gives a firm nod as if it brooks no argument.

"You wouldn't believe it if I told you." Jenna smirks.

"I feel the same way lately. You need to tell them though they'll take your patch if they can't trust you." She grins and despite her red rimmed eyes and splotchy face she still looks confident. "I feel like trying out the new Mexican place in Lodi."

"My mother's tamales are better but ok and Jen?"

"Hm,"

"I'm sorry about Piney."

"Me too. More than you know."

-/-/-/-

"So here's the deal Juicy you're the back up plan to my back up plan I need your word you won't say anything unless well unless Jackson doesn't figure it out within month or if heaven forbid Jax and I are dead you have to tell Ope." She sips her soda.

"Jesus Jen, Tell him what? Why would you be dead? What the fuck did you fall into?" Juice finishes in a whisper.

"The past. The truth, fuck SAMCRO's crosshairs. There are letters inside my piano Jax needs to read." Jenna picks up a nacho crunching into nonchalantly.

"Letters?"

"Its safer for you if that's all you know but my Dad died for them so I'm not playing here Juice. Can I count on you?" Jenna chews and swallows.

"Always."

-/-/-/-

: -/-/-/-Jax finds them sitting at the bar trading a bottle of patrone back and forth. Jenna laughs drunkenly. "No, no when fell asleep on the can was funnier. Cause 'member he fell off…"Opie laughs silently "And Mama was all Piermont you better be alive I ain't wiping your ass before the ambulance gets here." Opie adds. Jax steps between Opie's bar stool and Jenna's chair.

"You two are drunk,"

"Hi Baby!" Jenna greets enthusiastically and wraps her arms around Jax's waist. "Very drunk." Jax adds as Jenna hugs him tighter and Opie sways on his stool staring blankly.

"You like me drunk, I do dirty stuff for you." Jenna states scowling and Opie snickers to himself.

Jax releases Jenna's hold on him with one hand and steadies Opie with the other. "Let's go home."

"Is there beer? We're getting blasted for Daddy and because Lyla's a bailing bitch ain't that right Ope?" Jenna says.

Jax tries to hide his saddened smile "I guessed that much my Jenna."

"I don't want to go home. No one's there." Opie says.

"I know man you're coming with us."

"Ready?"

"I'm- yeah okay." Jenna mutters as Jax helps Opie to his feet.

-/-/-/-

Jax fixes Opie up on the couch and then finds Jenna staring at the bed.

"The room is spinning, the whole universe is spinning." Jenna babbles.

"Very Confucius of you baby." Jax smirks. "I can't transfer…I'll just- I'll sleep in my chair."

Jax laughs and lifts her from the chair. "You're awful handy Jackson."

"Glad to be of service Darlin'"

He juggles her and turns down the bed with one hand. He's removing her shoes when she starts talking. "I need you to listen to me Jackson." She says eyes closed

"I'm listenin'." after removing her shoes he unbuttons her jeans and pulls them down and off.

"You know the little hidey hole in the foundation of our church?"

"Yeah." he tucks the covers around her. "If something happens to me I left you a letter there. To explain things." he starts to get undressed.

Jax pauses unbuckling his belt. "Explain what?"

"Hopefully it won't matter." She opens her eyes again.

He sits down on the bed. "Jenna I'm going to keep you safe. Nothing bad is going to happen."

"That's what my Dad said my whole life Jackson and look what happened to him." She looks at him a sadness edging her gaze.

"I know that's why after I get us clear of this Cartel shit we're leaving." he finishes undressing and climbs in bed behind her pulling her to him.

"Your head's gonna kill you come morning."

"I was his girl Jackson… no one else's." her tears fall on his hand where its laying near her face.

" I know Jenna." he wipes her tears away and rubs her back until she's asleep. He can hear Opie crying in the living room. He feels helpless and he vows to make someone pay.

-/-/-/-

"It's a little late for legos isn't it?" Clay asked.

"Jen and Ope got drunk. Jax took them home." Gemma went and sat on the swing.

"She has those letters but he hasn't given them to Jax. She won't she loves him to much. I think somewhere deep down you know that." Gemma looks at him from the corner of her eye.

Clay remains silent. " I know it was you. Piney I mean, so does Jenny. I've kept a lot of secrets and I'll keep this one but you will leave her alone. For me. Because if you don't Jax will kill you with his bare hands and I won't be able to stop him. I love you and don't want to lose you so leave the girl be and maybe she won't kill you herself for Piney." She gets up and kisses his cheek.

"I'll see you at home." as she leaves his finger hovers over the speed dial button.

-/-/-/-

AN: Everything pretty much happens the same as in the show you just don't see it! I own nothing but my OCS


	8. Episodes 10 & 11: Dyed Blue

Jenna's head is pounding and she's afraid of breathing to deep for fear she might throw up. She groans. Jax presses a kiss into her neck.

"My Dad still dead?" she murmurs quietly

"Mmhmm,"

"Fuck."

"I'm sorry baby." Jax whispered.

"I was hopin' for a nightmare."

" I know the feeling. I'm not sure what it says about our world." Jax drops a kiss on her mouth then gets up and comes back with aspirin and water.

"Sit up Darlin," She shoves herself into a sitting position. "How'd you know?"

Jax smirks. "I'm a Jennasis mind reader." He sits on the bed.

Jenna swallowed the pills. "We've gotta tell Abel. He-" Jenna swallows.

"They loved each other Jax. While you were inside he was Dad's shadow he's going to realize he's gone."

"I'll do it. You shower," Jax sniffed her,

"You smell like a bum."

"Jackson!" She said feeling miffed.

"A pretty bum." He grins at her.

-/-/-/-

Jenna hears Abel wail and goes to his bedroom door. half dressed and hair still wet.

"He my gramps! He stay!" Abel cries sounding beside himself. Tears blur Jenna's as Jax gathers Abel in his arms.

"He wanted to stay Buddy I know he did."

"I can't like it." He says in his own innocent understanding of death.

"Me either Abel." Jax agress

"My Gramps!" Abel states again sadly sniffling into Jax's shoulder . "I know."

"Mama!" he catches sight of Jenna reach for her Jax sets him in her lap. He cries into her chest.

"Oh my Abey Baby, he sure did love you and his Arie Dawn." Jenna says thickly as Abel hugs her tightly.

"Abey big boy." he reminds her sniffling.

"Oh that's right Mama forgets Abey is a big boy. Just like gramps says." Tears drip down her face.

-/-/-/-

Jenna sat her purse down on the counter after having come from the funeral home. She caught sight of Opie hand washing Piney's cut. The sink water a rosy pink. Her heart stutters and her guts twist. "The kids know." Opie mumbles and Jenna nods.

She hears Arie laugh. Jax is tossing her up and catching her as he sets at the kitchen table. Her eyes fill with tears. "I don't think I can do this anymore."

"Yes you can baby." Jax looks at her with empathy.

"I can't Jackson." She shakes her head no. "I picked out his coffin and the flowers and…" her voice breaks and she sobs. "He was supposed to be old and weary and tired." Jax hands the baby off to Opie. He hugs her. "It was supposed to be the emphysema…hell the alcohol. I was supposed to feel relief when he finally went. Maybe some peace because he wasn't in pain not this!" She laments into his shoulder.

"This anger and emptiness his chest was hamburger meat Jackson how the fuck is that peaceful? Huh?"

"It's not baby, I'm so sorry Jenna."

Her sobs startle the baby into crying Opie sways with her humming silver wings into her ear.

"I'm going to get you through this Jenna. I promise."

-/-/-/-

Jax watches as Jenna twists up her straightened hair securing it all in place with black lacquered chopsticks. She looks tired and hardened in a way he doesn't like.

"What do you need baby?" He asks

"To know the world isn't a shitty horrible place." She replies numbly

Jax leaves and picks up Arie from her crib. "Go see Mama, AJ." he tells Abel.

"We've got them." He tells her mirrored reflection. "Not everything is shitty." Abel hugs her his head nestled into her side.

"Thanks Jaxy."

"Not cry Mama." Abel says.

"Thank you Abey." She ruffled his hair.

"After all this lets go somewhere." He says. She looks at him in the mirror as she applies red lipstick.

"And where would you have us go Jaackon?"

Jax shrugs. "San Fran, I'll take you to see the Chinese Gardens. We'll leave after the service. Just for a few days if you don't want to leave your Mama for too long."

"Okay, Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Jax?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you feed the baby?"

"She hates the cereal and spits it all over me." he whined. Jenna smiled brightly for the first time that day.

"She likes the sweet potatoes try that."

-/-/-/-

Jax spoons up an orange glob of baby food. He tries to hide his disgust.

He brings the spoon to her mouth and she refuses to open. He opens his mouth hoping she'll mimic him. "Go ahh… look Daddy's sorry Darlin' I got no idea why they make this shit so nasty."

Jax sighs. "Mama said you like this. She wouldn't lie to me for kicks woud she?"

"She totally would." Jax rolls hi eyes and stirs the baby food.

They hear Jenna warming her voice up in the bathroom. Belting out "How Great Thou Art."

"Then sings my soul my savior god to thee…" Arie's head whips around.

"You hear her don't you?" Jax grins.

Then they hear Abel backing her up. "Din sings my so!" Jax laughs and so does Arie. He slips the spoon into her open mouth. "Ha! Got ya." A smug victorious look paints his face.

He finished feeding her. Her mouth and cheeks covered in sweet potato puree. He leans forward to kiss her forehead. She puckers up.

"Just had to pucker up didn't ya kid." he kissed her on the mouth.

"Don't tell anyone I just did that." he wiped sweet potato from his mouth and hears Jenna snickering over his shoulder. As fastens her bracelet. A sapphire adorns the middle of Piney's bullet casing.

"You either woman!" Jax directed at Jenna.

She crossed her arms over chest. "Arizona Teller are you giving my kisses to stinky old Daddy?"

"Don't call me that?"

"What stinky or old?" She teased him. She eyed the messy baby. "Dude, I'm clean and dressed and no one's puked or pissed on me yet. I don't wanna…"

"I'm not I'll fix her up you take Abel." Jax said and looked over at her dressed in a shiny royal blue silk button down with a black pencil skirt and matching blazer.

"You look real nice baby."

She shrugged and sighed. "Thanks I guess. You seen my shoes?"

"Abel was trying to walk in them check his room."

-/-/-/-/

She's rolling behind the casket her mother's hand a comforting weight on her shoulder.

She sees Opie's shoulders shaking and knows he's losing it. Tears blur her vision. They place the casket over the grave hole. Jax hugs Opie surprisingly tight. He whispers something she can't make out. Opie nods and everyone finds a seat.

The preacher says the lord's prayer. Jax reaches over and wipes the tear tracking down her face.

Jenna rolls forward.

"Um." She picks up a dyed blue rose off the pile at her feet. She turns and faces the positively massive crowd. "My mother couldn't find the strength to speak for Daddy and my brother's just too solemn so that leaves me." she twirls the rose between her fingers.

She glances at Jax choosing her words. "Blue roses signify believe in the impossible. That's why I chose them. He believed that this club stood for something. Freedom to do as you chose and answer to no one. Except maybe God."

Jenna smiles sadly looking to Clay. "Some think he was just a disillusioned hippie. They are wrong. He was loyal and strong. For someone who thought organized religion could go fuck itself, I've never seen more faith."

"Jennasis!" her mother admonished. "Sorry Mama." she hears Opie chuckle and Jax choke on a laugh.

"The things my father taught me are so simple but so important. He taught Harry and I to love completely and without reservation." She doesn't realize she's crying until Juice comes over handing her a blue bandana worn and frayed at the edges. "Thank you."

"He taught me to assemble my own shot gun and to always aim low if a man ever forgot his place." She grinned.

"He taught me to take a part an engine and to listen to cars as though they speak."

"He gave me a love for music and taught me to play the guitar and when I got that down he sat me down at Bobby's old steinway and paid for piano lessons."

"He told me once that the women of this club didn't have voices that the music gave me a voice and I was to use it. If I ever let someone else speak for me not only would I stop seeing Jackson. He'd make it so I didn't sit down for a week." Jenna smiled. "Not only do I have a voice I'm pretty damn sure I'm the most loudly heard woman here."

"I had a hard time coming up with something to sing." Jax hands her a rose wood guitar Piney had given to her for her sixteen birthday.

"I thought maybe the first thing he ever taught me to play simple man might work but then I remembered waking just after my accident and him standing at my bed singing this to me. I needed to remember to surrender than just as I do now."

She began playing.

All to Jesus I surrender;All to Him I freely give;I will ever love and trust Him,In His presence daily live.

I surrender all,I surrender all;All to Thee, my blessed Savior,I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender;Humbly at His feet I bow,Worldly pleasures all forsaken;Take me, Jesus, take me now.

All to Jesus I surrender;

I surrender all,I surrender all;All to Thee, my blessed Savior,I surrender all.

She wiped her eyes and set the guitar down. She picked up the blue rose from her lap and kisses. "You're girl will miss you Daddy." She place it on the coffin and returns to her spot next to Jax.

-/-/-/-

Gemma stands over where she's seated on the couch a plate in her hand.

"Eat darlin'." she shoves the plate at her and sits down beside her.

"Not hungry Gem."

"Humor me…"

"Fine." Jenna picked at a piece of fried chicken. "You think all these people actually gave a shit about the old man?" Jenna asked taking a bite of baked beans.

"We did and we know we did that's all that matters baby." Jenna nods.

"I need to get Abey baby's hoodie from you're place."

"Why?"

"Jax and I are taking a little vacation in San Fran with the kiddos."

"Clay know?" Gemma asked eyebrows winging up.

"I don't give a fuck what the ever greedy Clarence Morrow knows or doesn't."

"You're angry baby." She says dryly.

"We both know I've got the right to be." Jenna dead panned.

-/-/-/-/

Jenna loads her gun and slips it into the back band of her Jeans. "I need a few things from your mom Darlin' I'll be right back." she's out the door before Jax can formulate a response.

She comes in the side door uninvited and ignores Gemma in the kitchen. She rolls up behind where Clay is seated at the table she presses the muzzle of the gun into the back of his skull.

"I know you killed my father. As god as my witness you are going to die at my hand." she catches Gemma moving toward her.

"I'm so angry I am not above hurting you Gem. Stay put." She warns coldly.

"You are as fucking crazy as he was." Clay says.

"Crazier." she replies. "I shoulda done the world a favor the first time I had the shot. Grace period's over you crippled up evil hate filled fuck. You won't know when how or where but just like the blood of an innocent woman and the blood of an old friend are on your hands."

"I got no problem soaking mine in yours like its dish soap. My conscience is clear. Oh you want those letters so bad pry them from my cold dead hands I dare you."

She holsters her gun into her waist band. She inhales then exhales carefully. She picks up Abel's hoodie from the counter and leaves without another word.

-/-/-/-/-

He's singing brown eyed girl to Zona substituting blue for brown and making Abel laugh with the terrible off keyness of his voice he's sure. He looks over at Jenna in jeans being swallowed up in one of Piney's flannel shirts, Aviators covering her gaze her hair swept into a pony tail.

There's something so sad in the way her head is leaned on the window as she looks blankly ahead. A lump rises in his throat. He reaches over and picks up her hand and squeezes it.

She looks over and gives him a tired half smile.

-/-/-/-

They stop at gas station just outside San Fransisico. Jenna opens Abel's door.

"My Mama!" he greets as though Jenna hadn't been in front seat the whole ride.

"My Son!" She replied grinning. "You need to potty?"

"Yes peas." She unloads Abel and sets him in her lap to traverse the parking lot.

Jax chuckles. "So polite, are you sure you're mine?"

"Oh he's yours darlin'."

"Zona need changing?" Jax as she moves toward the store.

"You offering?"

"Only if she just peed." he fills up the tank and then takes Arizona out her seat and lays her in the front seat.

"You only peed right kid?" Arizona grinned up at him while chewing on her fingers.

"I so don't trust you Zona, nope I don't." he leaned over and kissed her forehead and set about undressing her.

He changes her. "Sorry bout the cold butt wipe. Sometimes being a baby just sucks." the diaper properly affixed he blows raspberries on her belly. His phone rings.

"Whoever that is they can wait." He grins at her and fastens her clothes.

He keeps one hand on her and tosses the diaper with the other. He picks her up and sits with her in the drivers seat. Bemused by her fascination with wheel and its buttons. She turns on the wipers and jumps.

He chuckles. "Look." he honks the horn. Her eyes get big and she tries to do it herself.

He waits til Jenna's moving around the car and honks again. She nearly jumps out of her skin and almost drops Abel. "Jackson!" she hollers.

"It was the baby."

"Fuck you Teller."

"Only if I'm nice." she flips him the bird and rolls her eyes.

-/-/-/-

They had a lunch of sandwiches and apples with cheese. Jax sits on a blanket his back against an oak tree. Jenna's sleeping head lain his lap.

The baby lay on her belly beside him sucking down a bottle. She looks up at him with eyes entirely to cynical for a baby. The look saying "Ok Daddy person entertain me."

He looks down and sees Jenna's brow furrowed seriously in sleep. It strikes him as odd because Jenna's tough and intense but never really serious. She's the only one who can make Opie laugh anymore. She's more affected than she letting on.

It makes him ache.

"Mama!" Abel calls. Jax holds a finger to his lips. "Mama's sleepin'."

"Night nights." Abel whispered. Jax nods. Abel brings his ball over and nearly drops it on Arie before Jax catches it. Abel squats down and kisses the crease in Jenna's brow. Jax almost gets on to him but can't because he's being sweet. "Mom-me" Abel enunciates the word into her skin.

Jenna reaches up blindly brushing her fingers through his hair. "Abel Jackson, you need a haircut. Real kisses please?" He gives her an upside down kiss on the lips. "There."

He goes back to his ball bored with affection.

Jenna looks up at him. "What were you dreaming about?"

"Piney teaching me to play guitar. We have to leave Jax I know that…but I can't tell Opie. Its just everything with Dad and not to mention the fucking shit storm of the cartel and then Lyla…he's going to freak on me and I can't let him down more."

"I'll do it. Should be me anyway I'm the one who made promises I can't keep." He kissed her.

"So did I and mine are way older than yours…"

-/-/-/-

When Abel has to go to the bathroom again Jenna makes Jax take him after all he's the one who'd just given him a 32oz. Root beer and let him go to town.

Jenna sees a sketchy looking van. "Jax." she calls trying not to be paranoid, she sees the metallic flash of the sun on steel and dives to cover the baby's car seat.. She hers a pop and pain blooms up her back in a wave of fire.

She vaguely hears Jax calling her name before she blacks out.

-/-/-/-

Jenna comes to with Tara and Jax looming worriedly over her. "The baby?" She croaks out her mouth dry as Mohave.

"Is fine. You did good Darlin'." Jax answers looking like he might cry.

"Jen. You were shot. I need to do a neuro exam since the bullet was three centimeters to the left of your spinal cord.

"Fuck not again Tara…" her chin wobbles and her eyes fill.

"Look at me Jen." Tara says firmly. Surprising the hell out of Jax, Jenna pays attention.

"Lets see what were working with. No freaking out yet understand?" Jenna nods. "I've got you." Tara adds. She rolls the spiked pinwheel up Jenna's thigh.

-/-/-/-

Jax closes the door behind him. He turns and is faced with Opie and Gemma.

"What happened?" Gemma asked.

"How is she? Can I go in?" Opie asked.

"Best I can tell Ma, Lobo Senore are going after our wives and babies now."

"The babies?"

"Alia's got them they're fine. Though I'm not too sure Zona would be if Jen hadn't made herself into a fucking human shield."

"My sister?" Opie reminded him.

"Tara removed the bullet and there's no neurological damage, thank god. Her Autonomic Dysreflexia is flaring up though because of the bullet's location. She's pretty much out of it."

Gemma tries to slip in around him. "Mama let her sleep. She's being really stoic and introverted I think she just needs time. Ope, Can I talk to you?"

"Sure." they go into the waiting room.

Jax sits as does Opie. "I've been lying to you. I'm leaving Charming and SAMCRO. For good and I'm taking Jenna and our kids with me."

"I wanted out and you convinced me to stay."

"Yeah and if I hadn't Donna would be alive and Jenna wouldn't of been kidnapped and shot twice. I love you Ope, you're my bestfriend but I love her more. I've got to worry about my family."

Opie's voice shakes. "She is my family. Other than my kids she's all I've got left. You'd really just take her and expect-"

"They shot her Opie. So yes, I'll take her from you if that means she's safe." Opie gets up and walks away.

-/-/-/-

Jenna wakes up the next morning to Jax staring at her. "Mornin' Jaxy…"

He goes over and sits by her. "For the first in my life Jax. I'm really scared. It's got to stop. Your mom gets attacked, I got attacked, our kid got stolen, I've been shot twice and my Dad's dead Donna's dead. Where- hell when do we draw the goddamned line?"

"We draw it now. Jenna as soon as you're well and I've got the Irish fixed. We're done Jenna I promise you we can do this."

"Jax your mother-"

"Doesn't get a vote Jenna they shot you and didn't care if they killed our child to do it. We're out." he brushes the hair out of her eyes.

Jenna nods. "Okay."

-/-/-/

She's half asleep when Gemma comesin. Jenna catches sight of her face and wakes more clearly. "Fuck Gem," She said breathlessly. "What? Why would

he do that?"

"In his mind I crossed a line. I'm afraid for you Jenna."

"That he'll keep trying to kill me? I've got it handled. I'm not giving you the letters Gemma. If I keep them and you don't have them then he's got no reason to kill you. Though it looks like he sure fuckin' tried."

"You've got what handled baby?"

"Jax and I are leaving Charming."

"You can't I-" She pleads

"We are. We're getting our kids out of this before I have to live your life over again, or my moms, fuck Opie's even."

"I can't live in world that might make me hate Jax or worse live in a world without him period." She said giving Gemma an unflinching stare.

"I can't do that and Jax doesn't want to either. You should be proud not disappointed."

"I suppose you're right." Gemma kisses her forehead. "Don't tell Jax I was here he doesn't want to worry you."

"He's seen you therefore I'm worried. Call if he needs bail money."

Gemma tries to smile. "Bye baby."

"Bye Mom."

-/-/-/-

Jenna's watching food network when Filthy Phil is letting Wendy Case into the room.

"She said she was family." He fairly mumbles

"Her definition of the word and mine different. Its alright Phil I've got it." Phil closes the door and Wendy sat the flower arrangement on the bedside table.

"How'd you know I was here?" Jenna xocks her head and narrows her eyes at Wendy.

"Juice's ex told me."

"Aw, how nice of her to send me a toy to torture." Jenna smiled sharply.

"I heard about you and Jax. The baby, I bet Abel loves her."

"He adores her on his good days and ignores her when he gets tired of her. Typical big brother. Cut the bullshit and just tell me what the fuck you want?"

"You haven't changed at all have you Jen." Wendy smiles.

"Nope. I'm still the woman you couldn't replace and you're still an opportunistic whore who'll take an in wherever she'll find it. You want my kid right?" Jenna says knowingly.

"I didn't know Jax still loved you until-"

"Liar. The whole goddamned club knew how he felt and you preyed on that. You waited until he was tired and lonely and couldn't fucking breathe to make your move. That's enough reason for me to think you are lower than dirt but then, then you take the one true blessing god gave you and fucked that up.'

"I just want to see my kid." Wendy said tiredly.

"I'm his mother. You are just the junky who tried to fry the egg before donation. All you are is a scar down the middle of his chest that I'll explain one day but it's the only way he will ever know you."

"I've changed." She added bravely.

"Yeah," Jenna shrugged. "I don't believe that."

"I will see him I gave up custody but not the right to know him."

"Yes you did. When Tara had to stuff his guts back into his body you lost all rights. You wanna fight me go ahead. I don't even have so much as parking ticket on my record. You are going to lose plan on it . Tell me Wendy, was the needle worth it now?"

"Tell Jax I'll be in touch."

"It's at the top of my list." Jenna said sarcastically as Wendy turned Jenna pitched the flower at her head just barely missing. She felt her stitches pop but grinned. "I guess it's a good day for ex junkies, my aim's off." Wendy left.

"Phil get Tara please popped some stitiches." Jenna said calmly.

-/-/-/-

Opie crawled into the hospital bed and lay net to Jenna. "Harry I'm high."

Opie smirked and picked up her free hand. "I gathered that. How'd you rip your stitches again?" he asked peering over at her.

"I threw flowers at Wendy's big ass head. Take my baby bitch I'll show you…" Jenna rambled.

Opie chuckled his chest rumbling beneath her head. He traced the lines of her palm with his thumb. When Jenna was first born his seven year old mind was so fascinated by her hands. So tiny and delicate.

He remembers doing the same thing then and she'd squeezed his fingers and looked up at him like who the hell are you. Do I like you?

"You have a perfect triangle in your palm Jen. I wonder what it means?"

"How was your day?"

"Things with Lyla are really over. Why didn't you tell me it wasn't going to work?"

"Would you have listened?" she yawns,

"No."

"Well I need you too now."

Alright."

"Clay killed Dad." he can't catch her gaze but he prays she's wrong.

"Do what? Jen!"

"And he tried to kill me. Over some letters dad and I read. They were-" Jenna swallowed. Opie can't breathe. He can barely move.

"Love letters from John to Maureen Ashby. He feared that Clay and Gem were going to kill him because he wanted the club to earn straight, no guns. I was curious I didn't know Ope honest, I just wondered what Dad thought." Jenna sniffed back tears. Her voice shakes but she continues.

"Dad tried to put me off and I didn't listen. He- he came back later and said he needed the letters to leverage the club out of the cartel deal. He told me to hide the letters and wait for his next move and so I did but-" she wipes her tears with shaking hands.

"I didn't think he would go this far Ope, I-this is all my fault. Dad died because I'm fucking nosey Harry."

"If this is true, Dad underestimated Clay we all did. You did nothing wrong."

"Its true Clay beat the shit out of Gemma because he tried to kill me." Opie wiped her tears and kissed her forehead.

"He's going to try again. I can feel it." She told him.

He got up and tucked Jenna back into to the covers. "Do you have a gun?"

"Where would I put it in my assless gown?" she gestured around them.

"Good point. I'll bring you one tomorrow." he kissed her cheek. "Its gonna be okay I'll fix it. I'll send Jax to stay with you."

"You can't tell him."

"I know. Sleep tight Jenny."

"Night Ope. I love you."

"I love you too Jenny." He waited until she'd drifted off and then left.

-/-/-

Opie finds Jax standing outside the club.

"You wanna know why I didn't leave…it had nothing to do with Donna, I knew I could never be anything else. This? Is what we do. Its who we are and somewhere deep down for all your noble ideas and well intentioned plans you know that."

"This about my family Ope,"

"Jenny's always known who you are Jax. Don't forget who she is. She's a Winston. Don't forget that."

"What the hell does that mean?" Jax shot him a dirty look and took the offered joint.

"It means she's my sister and I love her. She won't be happy running. She never was." he passes it back.

"Yeah well you forget that I love her too. I'm keeping her safe just like Piney asked and even though it might kill you, you aren't her Daddy. You don't get to call the shots. I'm sorry I lied to you but that's all I'll be sorry for.

"Go see your wife." he said spitefully and put out the joint.

-/-/-/-

Jax had talked to a nurse and knew that they had to up Jenna's pain medication and redo her stitches. He climbed into bed with her expecting her to be asleep when she put her hand to his cheek and traced his bottom lip with her thumb without ever opening her eye he had to smile.

"Hi baby." She murmured.

"Hi Jenna."

"What did you do today?' she asked.

"Played with a rocket launcher."

"Cool I want one." Jax snickered. "You're so high right now I could tell you I found a unicorn in our bathtub and you'd believe me."

"We don't have a bathtub Jackson." He laughed. "What did they give you?"

"Demoral. I really like it."

"I can imagine Darlin.' Ope's still mad at me."

"He's just tired of losing the things he loves Jaxy. He'll be okay I explained things. Imma sleep now. I love you very much night night."

Jax smirked and kissed her. "I love you very much right back. Night Jenna."

-/-/-/-

AN: As you can see this chapters a bit different from cannon. I hope it was easy to follow and worth waiting for me to write. I only own Jenna and Arizona nothing else. The song I used was I Surrender All by Unknown Artist. I used the faith hill version you can find it on you tube.

Also, this chapter was really draining to write so please if you enjoyed it please review. Thanks as always.-Meghan


	9. Episodes 12-14: An Almost Fairytale

Jenna wakes and looks over to see Jax watching the smurfs on the hospital tv."Hey beautiful, you diggin' the smurfs this morning'?"Jax grins over at her. "Beautiful? Demoral makes you weird. The smurfs are classic and you know it. Don't hate."

"I can't help it if you are pretty Jackson." She smirks at him."Woman!" He walks over and bends to kiss her. "Pretty boy." she teased against his lips."Oh you're gonna pay for that when you're healed." he teased a smile lighting his features."The fun way?" She plays innocent.

"Is there any other." He sits on the beds edge. "How'd you pop those stitiches anyway.""Wendy was here. She wants to see Abel and I threw her fake sympathy flowers at her head, it was so completely worth it. Tara says I should be getting out today as long as I'm careful.""That's good. Wendy isn't getting anywhere near him." Jax shakes his head."You sure about that baby? She's clean has job and is his mother. To a judge all I am is the chick who raised him and we both know it. She's going to be nasty just because she can." Jenna points out.

"Just because she does doesn't mean she gets her way baby."

"You're mom came by." Jenna says a little nervousness edging the statement.

"And?"

"Her head didn't exactly explode when I said we were leaving but I could tell she was angry." Jenna shrugged.

"I'll handle them both and come back for you okay?"

"Alright then, when you see Wendy be sure to rub it in that you married me kay?" he laughed and leaned into kiss her again. "Why?""Because she stole you from me and I wanna be mean." She kissed him. "Bye Baby."Jax smiled "bye Darlin'"

-/-/-/-

Jax returns from seeing Wendy to find Gemma standing in Jenna's empty hospital room."Uh mom… where's Jenna?"Tara came in. "Opie picked her up a half hour ago. I need you to sign this its just some insurance paper work. She handed a clipboard and he scribbed down his name before looking back up at Gemma.

"Mom did you hassle Jenna about us leaving?" Jax asks eyebrows raising.

"No not exactly. I just think that-" Jax cuts off the coming tirade.

"Honestly? I don't give a shit what anyone thinks not even you. This is what we're doing for the safety of our family and I'd appreciate if you'd except it." Gemma nodded.

"Now I'm going to track down the Winston Wonder twins." Jax turned to leave.

"Check Piney's grave…" Gemma said as Jax looked at her oddly.

She shrugged. "Its just a hunch."

-/-/-/-

"So…we're doing this? Really doing this?" Jenna asked.

"Seems that way." Opie replies numbly.

"God I don't want to tell him I really don't but-"

"Tell who what?" Jax asked as he walked up. Jenna jumped.

"I didn't hear you ride up." She looks up at him.

"I drove the SUV to pick you up I parked down the block. You need to tell me what? I assume its me since you clamed up." Jenna leaned back on Donna's head stone and looked to Opie who nodded.

"Clay killed my Dad Jackson."

"And he tried to off Jenny." Opie added.

Jax's jaw dropped. "What- I don't- why would he? You're my wife."

"Did you know?" Opie asked lowly.

"Of course not Ope! You honestly think I'd let someone hurt Jennasis?" Jax shouts beyond offended.

"I'm not sure what to think anymore. I'm going to kill him."

"Opie lets figure this out. At the table." Jax tries to mediate the problem

"Fuck the table Jax! Where was the fucking table when it came to my wife? My old man didn't get to be heard! Neither does Clay." Opie stood and kissed Jenna's forehead. He got on his bike and left.

"Where's he's not?" Jax said.

"Oh he is." Jenna nods yes.

-/-/-/-

They are flying down the road behind Opie. Jax pulls out his phone. Jenna snatches it away pitching it into the back. "What the fuck Jenna?"

"He doesn't get a goddamn courtesy call." she bites out coldly.

-/-/-/-

By the time Jenna gets unloaded and in her chair and rolled into the club Jax has a gun leveled at Opie. "Opie don't make me shoot you. Please man." Opie hesitates. Jenna doesn't she pulls out her gun and fires two shots into Clay's chest.

Opie and Jax turn and stare. "I said you'd die by my hand. I meant it!"

Clay gasps out and Opie tries to fire again but Jax hits him first. Shooting him in the arm and knocking him to the ground.

"Why'd you fucking shoot my brother!" Jenna shrieks before zoning out.

"To make it look like an attack. Baby I need you to ditch the gun." Jax runs over and takes it from her. "Go back to the SUV." he grabs her face gently.

"Can you hear me Jenna?" she nods robotically. "Ok go."

-/-/-/-

She sits in the car for what seem like hours but its really mere minutes. Opie and Jax pile in.

She shot him. Huh? Some part of her always thought she'd never do it. She can hear Jax and Opie conversing about leverage, the cartel and letters but she can't add anything.

"I feel funny." She tells no one.

"You're in shock Jen. Its okay…" Jen… that's Opie talking to her then.

"I don't feel anything…"

"Should I cry? Or…" Opie pulls her head on to his shoulder as he mutters about promises.

They pull up to urgent care to drop Opie off. He gets out and then grabs Jenna's face in his hands. "If this comes back at you I did it. Is that clear?" Ah here comes the tears she thinks.

She shakes her head no. "You can't-"

"I am Jenny. Now say it so I know you heard me."

"I understand harry and will do as you say. I promise."

-/-/-/-

She hears Jax showering the next morning and goes and sits outside the shower waiting for Jax. Normally she'd make a game of letting her eyes roam his naked form. Connect the dots via freckles or counting the shades of gray in his tattoo but for now, she's just too tired.

Jax gets out wrapping a towel around his waist.

"How'd you sleep?" he asks.

"How do you sleep after you possibly murder someone?" she replies acidly.

"Point taken." Jax refuses to rise to her bait.

"I need to understand Jenna, why did you do that? I need those letters."

She looked up at him head cocked to the side. "I did it because I had too. Because Opie didn't really have it in him. I did it because Clay deserved it. He deserves to die. For Donna and my Dad and…"

"And baby?"

"Call your mother I'll go get the letters. Just one thing Jax?" She goes to leave but turns back at the last second.

"Yeah?"

"Do you still see me? Love me?"

"You're still the same Jenna. Though I might take you more seriously when you threaten me with bodily harm." he chuckled trying to joke.

She scowled. "Nothing has changed. Nothing will make me love you less."

He took her chin between his forefinger and thumb and tilted her face up toward his.

"I love you Jenna. I always have and always will." he kissed her softly. Jenna inhaled and kissed him back deeper. She nipped his bottom lip and he smirked.

"Later." he said.

"Promises…you're full of them." Jenna teased as watched him dress for the day.

"Wear your Kevlar today please." Jax's brow scrunched.

Jenna's shoulders lifted in a half shrug. "Just intuition."

Jax nods. "Alright."

-/-/-/-

Jax comes in as she's packing. "Just getting a head start." she murmurs.

"Good." Jax steps forward and kisses the top of her head. He lingers inhaling shampoo.

"I'm fine Jackson." She says easily.

"Meeting Romeo, watch for my mom and have Phil pack the big shit for you. I'll be back."

She tilts her head back to look at him. "Okay."

-/-/-/-

She's sorting the kids clean laundry when Gemma comes in.

"Hey baby,"

"Mom."

"Another trip?"

"Yeah cause the last was all sparkles and sunshine." Jenna replied sarcastically.

"Its time to stop playing Jenna. Clay was shot last night."

"I know I shot him. You seen Arie's cookie monster jammies?"

Gemma picks the blue feetie from the bottom of the pile. Jenna meticulously folds them and sits them into a suit case. She rolls out of the room. She comes back and plunks the letters in Gemma's hands.

"You might want to remove the ones that expose you for the traitorous heartless bitch you are before you let your child read them." Jenna said icily.

Gemma's eyes flash. "Loyal to fault aren't you."

"You had a man killed to maintain your empire. I'm not going to break the love of my life especially when I know Jax is just a means to end to you."

"That's not fair baby, you don't understand."

"The day I understand your reasons and become you is the day I'll walk away." She says stonily giving Gemma back her patented bitch stare.

"One last thing. You can tell him but I get to be there so you won't spew bullshit at my husband, I have something to do if you want you can play with the kids."

-/-/-/-

Jenna pulls up to Tara's cutlass and waits for her to come out of the hospital. She smokes a cigarette as she waits. She knows she's taking a chance asking something this big of Tara but she's banking on Tara's love for Jax and their weird ass friendship outweighing their rocky past. Tara comes out hands full of files looking tired.

"Hey Doc," She calls and Tara looks up.

"You know where ever you guys land I can send the kids medical records right?" she walks toward the car using her left hand as a visor against the sun.

Jenna smirked. "Its not that, get in."

Tara got into the passenger side of Jenna's truck.

Tara glances at Jenna from the corner of her eye.

"What am I missing Jen?"

Jenna laughed. "Oh so much."

"Then tell me."

"You love Jackson right?"

"Jen…" she said warilly.

"Do you love him or not?" Jenna asks impatiently.

"You know I do! So cut the crap and tell me what's going on."

"If Clay survives after I shot him, I'm going to need a clean untraceable way for Jax to kill him…"

"Whoa what? Clay killed my dad for those letters you read. Then tried the same with me. I saw my chance and I shot him but I didn't think and now we have to tell Jax. Once Jax knows he's honor bound to kill Clay. If you can't help I understand."

"I'll help. He needs not to get caught I -"

"I know why you're helping Tara thank you."

-/-/-/-

Jenna returns to the house to see Gemma's car pulled in beside Jax's bike.

"If she started without me I'm gonna come unglued on her." Jenna said to herself. "Great talking to myself fucking fantastic." she muttered grabbing the bag Tara had given her.

She gets out of the car and rolls inside too see Jax and Gemma sitting at the kitchen table. The letters laying like a time bomb between them.

"Hey baby." Jenna directed at Jax. "Everything Okay?"

"Hey my Jenna, I've been better."

"Waiting on you sweetheart." Gemma says.

She rolls across the room. "Where are my children?"

"Outside…" Jax replies and pulls out a kitchen chair beside him for Jenna to pull up. She sits her purse down. "Don't worry I gave Zona benadryl for the allergies before I sent her out."

Jenna smiles sadly. They are about to shatter his world but he remembers his little girl's ragweed allergy. "Thanks baby." She sits beside Jax and nods for Gemma to begin.

"Your father stopped going to Ireland once Thomas got sick. He wrote these letters to Maureen and intended for you to read them but Jenny found them first."

"And this has to do with my wife shooting Clay and Piney's death how?"

"I went to Dad about them and what they contained. He put me off until he needed them to leverage us out of the drug business."

"What could possibly hold that much sway? And why the hell didn't you tell me Jennasis?" Anger simmers in his gaze.

"Gemma's going to tell you but honestly baby, I didn't want to hurt you if I could avoid it I would… hell I fucking tried." Jenna chews her bottom lip. Gemma slides a cup of coffee across the table to her.

"Something to do with your hands." Gemma says quietly and Jenna takes a sip.

Gemma takes a breath. "Your father wanted the club to earn honest and go legit. He wanted out of guns and was going to meet Kellan to set it up. Clay disagreed with him. He never made it too that meeting."

"And who did you agree with?" Jax said coolly.

"Thomas' death changed John. Made him into something I didn't understand. I trusted Clay's judgment though I didn't know what would entail." Jenna sipped her coffee to ease her nerves. Jax sits stoically beside her. Tears glaze his eyes but don't fall as he puts two and two together.

" The first time He sent him into a Mayan ambush alone. John survived. The second time Clay knew it would have to be a mechanical malfunction."

"The panhead…" Jax murmured.

"Lowell senior is the only one your father trusted with his bike. I don't know what he had on Lowell I just know…the way John died."

"Lowell died a week later…" Jax said.

"Dead men tell no tales baby." Jenna added.

"I found the cover note Maureen wrote in Abel's things and knew Baby had them. I freaked out and told Clay."

"And I freaked out and told my Daddy." Jenna added.

"Piney read the letters and confronted Clay and when he did Clay killed him when he couldn't find the letters. I imagine Piney's last words where something along the lines of leave my child alone." Gemma took a breath.

"He didn't, he puta hit out on Jennasis I found him removing cash from the safe. I confronted him after the failed attempt and he beat me. I tried to warn Baby, with the note and stall him. None of it worked."

"Clay has to be stopped son. He killed your father and then gunned down his best friend. He had your wife shot like a dog as she was throwing herself bodily over her child. You kill him avenge things before he's on his feet and striking back."

Gemma taps her nails on the table. "You don't believe me? Read it in your fathers hand then decide." Gemma gets up and leaves.

Jenna goes to roll away but stops and hugs Jax from behind. She keeps her arms looped around his shoulders and kisses the top of his head. She longs to say, "I'm sorry." or "I love you." but it doesn't seem enough. She inhales and smells shampoo and the underlying hint of motor oil meets car grease that clings to every man loves. It calms her nerves but still she longs to cry.

Jax raises her hand and kisses her palm. She knows with that gesture her thoughts are communicated anyway. She rolls outside leaving him to read.

-/-/-/-

She pushes Abel on the swing and watches with a sad smile as Arizona finally decides to toddle over to her.

"Where?" Gemma says as she sits on the ground facing Abel who's on an upswing.

"Where what?" Jenna asks. She picks up Arie. "Well lookie there, thanks for finally showin' me. Sweet girl!" She directs at Arie. She pushes Abel again.

"The letters, where'd you hide them?"

Jenna grinned. "Inside the piano. Obvious seemed best."

"Of course. You were raised by a man who kept his savings in a folgers can." Gemma laughed.

Gemma's phone chimed. She read the text. "Clay survived the surgery. Nice try baby."

They sit in silence until Jax comes out.

He sits on the ground at Jenna's feet. " I have to kill him."

"I know. Here's how you do it." Jenna pulls out the bag Tara had given her.

"This contains a syringe filled with heprin, it's a blood thinner. Tara says inject it in his iv he'll bleed out into his lungs and drown. No one will suspect anything. It'll look his chest tube came loose in his sleep."

"Why's you involve Tara?" Jax sighs tiredly

Jenna looked up a sharpness in her gaze that makes Jax hackles rise.

"This needs to be safe and untraceable I don't want Gemma lording it over you forever so you're her puppet. I knew Tara would get it. Believe it or not Jackson, she's my friend. You kill him and you make it right then we'll leave and try things differently than we were raised." Jax pulls her to him and kisses her hard on the mouth and leaves wordlessly.

"What's your angle baby?"

"No angle Gemma. He's my husband and its my life regardless of what happens next you're being dethroned where Jackson's concerned." She smiled ferally.

"That's what growing up a crow has taught me. Take what's yours before its gone. Not you, not Mama, not Dad or Opie taught me that. Life taught me that. Pulling my broken ass together taught me that and no matter how smart you think you are, or how tough. I'm ten times tougher and endlessly determined. You will not win. You will not keep him. I'm his wife, his world and his queen. Remember it."

-/-/-/-

He kisses her bare shoulder and goes and starts his shower. She starts breakfast and has it waiting on him at the table. She sits reading a book as Taylor Swift sings about innocence on the top 40 station.

"Who you are is not what you did." Jenna sings along. Jax isn't sure they were ever innocents. This life its strips it away like turpentine. He reaches over and nudges her book up to read the title.

"Sisterhood Everlasting?" Jax smirks and sits down. "The books about the jeans?"

"Shut up. I'm reading along with Paige."

He digs into his scrambled eggs. "You're good at your job baby." he comments.

"Huh?" she looks up.

"You're a good Aunt Jenna, you aren't betraying her by leaving. We'll be back."

"Thank you."

Abel runs in. "Morning Mommy. Hi daddy!"

"Morning baby."

"Air-wee is awake."

"You wake her up?" Jax asks smiling. He bites into a slice of bacon. "Nope." Abel replies.

Jax gets to his feet. "Well lets go get her."

He comes back with Arizona cuddling into the leather of his cut. He smiles down at her. There's an ache in Jenna's heart. She was once Arizona so very deeply and completely in love with her father that she didn't even ever realize the choices he made would make her life.

She is who she is because of Piney Winston and SAMCRO good, bad, or indifferent. She's Jennasis Winston-Teller. As excited as she is for this new life with Jackson she doesn't know how to be anything else.

"Earth to Jenna?" Jax calls out she snaps back to reality. "What?"

"I said do we need baby water I'll go get some before I leave."

"Nah we're good."

She watches as he finishes breakfast and feeds the kids. He does a rendition of "Where is Thumbkin?" that just cracks Arie up.

"Why is this funny?" he asks laughing a little himself. He looks over at Jenna.

"Uh uh, get out of that head space Jenna."

"I'm not in any head space." she defends nibbling on toast.

"Yes you are. You're making the face…the Jenna's thinking bad shit and brooding face." She sits down the bread, she chews and swallows.

"I have a bad feeling Jax, sue me." he stands and walks over to squat down in front of her. "I've got you okay and I'm going to fix this and it'll be fine." he takes her face in hands and kisses her softly. More gently than he usually does.

He's so close the breath warming the words "I love you." fan her face.

"I know. I love you too."

"Then trust me. Please?"

"I always do."

"I've gotta go Darlin'." he kisses her again and then kisses the kids. He's to the door when she finally speaks. "Jackson, be careful just because I trust you doesn't mean the feeling goes away." She warns

"I know. I will be. Bye my Jenna."

"Bye Jaxy."

-/-/-/-

She's sitting in the center of the bed watching Sex And the City reruns. She can feel him standing in the door way.

"I'm not sure who I'd do Aidan and Smith are hot in diff-" she caught a glance at his face his expression cut off her joking.

"Jackson what?" he walks over and sits on the bed facing her.

"Jax you're scaring me! What happened?"

"I need you to listen and let me finish before you speak alright?"

She nods. "I need you keep what I'm about to tell you between us. No telling anyone, not even Ope."

"Jax I- What?"

"Okay baby?" He presses.

"Okay."

"The CIA is backing this cartel-Irish hook up. Galan doesn't trust me as far as he can throw me, I have to leave Clay alive for the deal to go through or the whole club goes down with RICO. We have to stay and I'm taking the gavel it's the only way I can ensure your safety."

"So we don't leave, fine I can do that." her chin wobbles and tears fill her eyes.

"And my dad, he just dies for nothing." She begins to sob, tears tracking down her quickly flushing face. He pulls her into his arms.

She tries to shove him away. She slaps at his chest. He just holds on tighter.

"No, no, no," She shakes her head. "This doesn't get to be okay. Do you hear me? This doesn't get swept under the rug like everything else in this fucking club Jackson!" She sobs harder shoulders shaking with their force.

"This isn't fair." She wails.

And with that Jax's heart breaks slowly into a million pieces so that he feels every stab of her grief.

"I have to bide my time Jenna. I don't have any choice right now. He will pay that I promise you."

"So what? He gets a vote and gets to sit at the fucking table and my dad… hell Jax your dad… how the fuck is Opie going to sit at your left with Clay at the table. He's killed or has tried to kill nearly every goddamn thing Harry loves Jackson!" She rails at him.

"He gets a vote but has no power. He gets to sit in a chair with his useless hands and rot. For someone like Clay? That's a worse punishment than any death I could dream up. At least for now. As for Ope, I have to trust that he'll come around. There's to0 much history and to0 much of who we are in the club for him to walk away. Babe, this is our club. You don't wear a cut but its no less yours. You, me, and Ope? Its our legacy. Its time I stop fighting it."

"You're mom isn't going to just pass the torch." She says quietly all the fight having gone out of her.

"You don't need her permission Jenna." They sit in silence for a bit. Jax feels Jenna slowly pulling herself together. Eventually she sits up and wipes her eyes.

"When's church?"

"Eight. Ope's gonna call you." Jax says knowingly.

She nods. "I got it."

-/-/-/-

Jax goes for a ride and Jenna ends up sitting on the charred foundation of the church. Her phone rings and Opie and Donna's smiling faces flash on her phone screen.

"Jackson was right." She says by way of greeting.

"He's crazy is what he fucking is Jenna."

"Ope, he's doing the best he can." She tries in vain to defend him.

"That's bullshit Jen. You've just got your I love Jax blinders on and can't see shit."

"I see perfectly clear thank you. You need to trust him Ope. He's not trying to fuck you over." He's trying to piss her off and she's trying mightily to remain calm

"Whatever's wrong, he told you didn't he?"

"Yes, but I can't tell you."

"I'm your brother."

"And he's my husband."

"Already towing the old lady party line…" Okay enough is enough he thinks.

"Fuck you Harry. He told me something in confidence and I will not break it if for no other reason than your safety. So could you stop with the rock and a hard place shit. It won't change anything."

"Clay's never going to pay for single thing he did Jen." Jenna looks at the bones of her haven.

"Maybe, maybe not. The only way you get a say? Sitting at that table with Jackson as VP. Be at church Ope, it's the only way we'll ever change anything. I love you Harry I gotta go. I want to be there the first time Jax takes the gavel."

"Love you too Jenny. Really I do. I never wanted you to be an old lady much less the damn Queen but I ain't mad at you alright…"

I know bye Ope."

-/-/-/-

Jenna rushes into the club to see if Opie made it to chapel. She opens the door just as the gavels fallen.

"I didn't know you guys had started I just-"

"Its alright baby, come here please." Jenna rolls over.

"In case I didn't say it earlier me and you? We're fine Jax."

He kisses her. "I knew but thanks for clarifying Darlin'."

"Give Ope some time Jax. He just- he needs time wait him out. For me?"

They turn when they hear the door creak and are some what disappointed to see Gemma. Jenna moves so she's sitting beside Jax, her hand in his she tries to convey a united unbreakable front.

There's something in Gemma's gaze that Jenna can't quite place. Somewhere between pride in Jenna picking up her mantle and the disappointment of feeling obsolete. She meets her gaze and doesn't flinch. "I am what you and Mother molded me into." she thinks.

She's fine strong even until she sees Piney's empty seat at the table. Tears sting her eyes and she sniffs them back.

"Love," Chibs says.

"Daddy's seat its empty." she shrugs. "It just hit me he's really gone." she sniffs back more tears.

No one says a word. After all what an they say? Jax kisses the back of the hand he's holding.

"Come on baby, I'll fix you a drink." Gemma says. Jax nods and she follows.

"Just a coke."

-/-/-/-

It's Paige's fifteenth birthday party and Jenna's first time hosting as the club queen. She's not as organized as Gemma and knows the woman's itching to take over.

Opie comes in with Jax behind him. "Baby girl's gift where do I put it? Wait! Hold up!'

Jenna laughed. "What Ope?" Opie peered out of the kitchen.

"Is Paige flirting with Ace Pollman?"

Jax stuck his head around the corner. "They are totally eye fucking."

"Dude!" Opie whined.

Jenna looked over next. "Jaxy's right bub, that's at least a I want to kiss your face off stare."

"You two are assholes." Opie retorted. "Set the gifts down on the card table." Jenna said nonplussed Opie set a tiny box on the table.

"Jax?" Jenna asked.

"I've got our gift set up already." he replied.

"Thanks, Gem you can help if you want."

"Alright lets do ake and ice cream then gifts."

-/-/-/-

She saved Opie's present for last meticulously unwrapping the delicate paper. She opened the ring box. Inside sits a sapphire ring. "Dad I-"

"You always liked it and I thought you were old enough to have it." Opie says a little shyly. He loves his kids but public displays are rare.

Juice leaned over. "I don't get it?"

"Donna's promise ring. Ope saved up like a year and a half for it." Jenna replied.

She stood and hugged him. Tears brim in her eyes. "Thanks Daddy,"

"Hey Paigers, no crying ok." he kisses the top of her head. She put the ring on.

"One more gift paigey poo." Jenna called out. "Outside everyone."

"What you mean the bath and body works isn't it?"

"Bitchlet please, I'm buying you soap for your birthday? My favorite niece, really?"

"I'm your only niece."

-/-/-/-

When they step outside to see the 1946 red Indian motorcycle and Paige's jaw drops Jenna knows she's chosen right.

"Her reaction is better than when we told Ope we were boning." Jax teases.

"And no ones punched me yet." he adds.

"Aunt Jenny I-" She gapes at the bike.

"Its yours baby, she runs a little crappy and she needs work but its yours. Your dad's going to teach you to ride and you have to keep your grades up no C's, you'll need a part time job for gas and upkeep. No riding in the rain ever and I swear on all that is holy Paige Marianne I catch you without a helmet and I'm taking it back." She squeals and hugs Jenna.

"Go! Ope's sitting on a girly bike to give you a lesson that never happens."

"Donna would murder you with a hatchet but your Dad he's damn proud somewhere." Ann says hugging Jenna from behind.

"You gave her a goddamned collectors item." Tig grouses.

"Give that shit up Tiggy, you weren't ever gonna get it." Gemma replies.

"Ok baby, this is your brake. Never pull just the front one. You'll end up face first on the pavement."

"Gas, brake, shift got it daddy, I have ridden before."

"Yes with me at the handlebars. Not alone."

"I'm not scared." She put on the helmet Jax had given her.

"I am sweetheart." Jenna laughed. "Its gonna be okay Bubba."

"Ready Paigers?" Paige nods. "Take pictures Jenny." he kicks up the stand and off they go.

-/-/-/-

The party having cleared out Jenna sits on the couch relaxing. Jax steps over a sleeping Arizona to plop down next to her.

"You did good Darlin' Donna would be glad and even though Mom won't say it she's real proud of the way you treat the sweet butts. And that fight you broke up? Its not the way we usually do things but-"

"Juice and Deacon were not fighting at a kids party. That's just the way I do things and if-"

"Jenna I was proud of you Darlin'." Jax takes a fork full of icing from his piece of cake and smears it along Jenna's clavicle before licking it off.

"Jax you weirdo! You're gonna make me all sticky."

"That's the plan." He grinned at her she rolled her eyes as leaned in to kiss her

She kisses him back toying with the hair along his nape. "Oh my god Jackson, I can't even believe I'm going to say this but you might need a hair cut."

Jax turns from putting down his cake. He chuckled. "You just died a little inside didn't you?"

"Yes, I'm very pained. You know what I was thinking about watching Ace and Paige?"

"What?" He licks off his thumb and turns toward her.

"What are the chances that this becomes her life? And do I want that for her? Hell I know I don't want Arie to be an Old Lady. It's fine for me because I choose you and I do it over again the same every day but-"

"But its hard." Jax finishes for her. She nods and blinks back tears. "Don't get me wrong I love you and have no regrets. I mean I'm pretty sure our dads thought that we were destined for each other anyway. I want to do this right. Make a fucking change that means something. You know?"

Jax nods. "Just before Dad died I had a conversation with him about you. I told him I knew that you liked me and that Tara hated you. I knew it was because she knew I cared about you. There were these really odd moments where you went from being Jenny my friend Ope's kid sister to this girl thing, I'd never seen before that was pretty and smart and you just fucking saw me and it scared the shit out of me."

She smiled. "I scared you?"

He nods. "Yeah when you got hot? I thought I was going to hell for sure." He grins

"Anyway he told me that the Tara's of the world were everywhere and no matter how much I loved her she'd always try to change me. You though, he said the Jenny's of the world were rare because not many people see you and just accept it. He said you'd be my wife one day because of that." He smiled sadly.

"She has Piney's loyalty and her own mind. Never lose that Jackson. So, our paths were already laid out yeah but we can change where we go. The club's gonna be legit before Zona is old enough to date I promise. This club its ours to change but I need you with me at my side." he kissed her

"Where else would I be." she said.

Their journey has been long and complicated and so fucking hard she'd almost given up but she's glad she didn't.

"I love you so much Jackson."

"Right back at you Darlin'."

-/-/-/-

AN: That's it for this season folks. I only own Jenna, Arizona, Deacon, and Ace. I hope you enjoyed the story this season. If you guys want another season please review and tell me. Next season is tentatively titled Fake Empire.

As always I'll write something for hiatus so send me prompts or questions!

Thanks Again,

Meg


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